THE BEGINNING OF THE END L.S

18. I N F I N I T Y

To Lou,

Hi! (Oops haha) It's Harry!

If this is coming to you when it's supposed to then I'm sure this is abit of a shock so I'm sorry about that. If its not then please stop reading and continue at a later date because this is going to be embarrassing.

At this current moment, I'm sat in Niall's kitchen, eating all his soda bread (please tell him how much I will miss it) – Niall should be the one to give you this letter, I'm not sure if that is the best plan given how unreliable he is but I've decided to trust him, and I guess if you are reading this then it worked so thank him for me!

I'm not quite sure where to start Lou, so let's start simple;

I love you.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

There is not enough I love youse ever for me to quite describe how much I love you.

If I tried to explain it, it would feel like infinity.

In fact, even if we had never met I think that I would love you, which is very sappy but the others aren't here to complain.

You told me once that I needed to stop thanking you, but thanking you is the only way for me to express just how grateful I am that a little Doncaster boy came into my life 3 years ago.

Ha! I can call you little now and there's nothing you can do about it!

Don't worry Lou, I love you even more because you're little (if that's possible), it makes me feel as though I can wrap you up and keep me to myself forever. And If anyone ever makes fun of your height, then I will haunt them from heaven (or hell but I bloody hope not)

I haven't told you this yet Lou, but before you came into my life, I was lost. Very lost. I was a young boy of sixteen with no clue about anything, I had a lifetime of dreams but was so caught up in trying to live that I ended up barely surviving.

But in the middle of my chaos; there you were. Hope.

And you saved me Louis, you truly did, I think that's why I love you just as much as I do. After what felt like an eternity of drowning, you finally taught me how to breathe.

Thank you again Louis, thank you a thousand times, thank you 28 thousand times, thank you for loving me when I was nothing but heartache and war

And now it's your time to shine Lou

You have been my whole entire book, but I need to only be a chapter in yours, because you've got years and years of wondrous time to come.

The world is at your feet! Or an oyster...depends on the quote you wanna use...

So get up off your ass, stop crying, and create pages and pages more of wondrous memories, ones that I'm not in. You don't need me to be there Lou, I know you don't, you are so fucking strong.

And I'll be watching you Louis, so live your life for the two of us.

I'm going to watch you conquer not just the music industry, but the world by storm. I'm going to watch you make millions more pounds and buy more useless shit that you don't need, but as long as it makes you happy then continue to buy it. I'm going to watch you travel and party and laugh and cry and live. I'm going to watch you fall in love again and get married and have gorgeous children and be a bad influence and get wrinkles and a beard and become a grandfather.

I'm going to watch it all.

And I'll tell the stars about it Lou :)

Niall just reminded me of something.

He asked me if I was ready to go home.

But it's been ages and we have been through so many different stages and I've only just realised that for me, home isn't just princess park.

Home is that feeling of being curled up in your arms, with our fingers intertwined and the soft feel of your breath can never be put into words. I can tell you that it is where I belong. And it is in your arms, no matter what house, state, country, we are in, it is in your arms that I feel at home.

Should I tell you a secret?

Sometimes I think that I'm afraid of dying.

Sometimes the entire prospect of what comes next makes my entire body crack.

But I've been wearing your jacket everywhere. I've been wearing it everywhere so that when my times comes, and I have no idea when it will be, when it comes...when I go, and Louis I know I will, I will take you with me.

And just like that....I'm not afraid anymore.

Please don't be afraid either Louis. Because you & I aren't like anyone else, we are going to make it in the end no matter where we are.

I told you once that I couldn't swear that I would never leave you. But I could have. Because I am not going to leave you. I will be there Louis. I will be the first snow in the winter and the first flower in the spring.

Two hearts. One home.

The movies really overrated goodbye letters like this. How the fuck am I meant to fit a lifetime of love onto one page?

Oh and by the way, I have always loved sushi :)

Take Niall on the London eye for me. And go to painting classes with Zayn. Write music with Liam. Get drunk with Ed and Nick. Paint your nails with Kendall (kidding). Tease Gemma. Say thanks to mum and Robin. Thank the fans over and over and over again.

Maybe even work at the bakery for a couple of shifts – I can't remember if I ever mentioned that I used to work at a bakery ;)

And never ever go too long without watching a sunset.

Oh, It looks like I've come to the end of my page.

This hurts Lou (you can probably see the tearstains all over the page, I'm sorry about that), I just thought that we would have more time.

But maybe that's the thing with sparks. They shine brighter than most...but they don't last long. And I think that's us Lou. A spark. The brightest most dangerous one of there.

You don't need me to stay alight.

I love you again Louis. As long as the sun burns in the sky and moon burns bright.

Until the end of time itself.

You will always be my superman.

And I will be waiting for you Lou.

Until then,

Your Harry

Ps. Use the right brand of beans for me.