6. D R A G M E D O W N

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C H A P T E R S I X

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"I can loose fucking everything, But not you, oh god, not you"
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Louis was sick when he found out.

He emptied the contents of his stomach into the hospital waste bin, after he sat Gemma down in the corridor next to the room where Harry was currently undergo resuscitations to keep him breathing, and told her to tell him what the fuck was going on.

He threw up.

He threw it all up, desperate for all of it to leave his body as quickly as possible. It burnt his throat but it could not compare to the pain inside. Louis knew that nothing he had ever felt had ever been as painful as this before. More pain than he ever imagined possible. He was desperate to get it out. Get it all out, to never have to feel any of it ever again.

But he knew that this was just the beginning.

Telling Niall was the worst part. Because Niall was so pure, so innocent, and Louis knew that this news would absolutely destroy him.

And of course Niall didn't believe them, like a child being told that Santa wasn't real, he told them they were joking. He told them that this was some stupid, incredibly fucked up idea of a prank. They must have made some mistake because Harry is Harry and he will always be Harry. Harry was not going to die.

Or maybe it was Zayn who was the worst to tell because Zayn didn't have the strength to put on a fight. Instead, like Gemma, he allowed it to fill him. And so, the others had to watch the truth of Harry's inevitable fate shred him apart, piece-by-piece. They had to watch as he sat by Harry's bed, shaking. Begging to take Harry's pain away.

Liam hadn't spoken to anyone since he punched his fist into the hospital wall when they told him. Instead he sat on a hard chair at the back of Harry's room, playing and replaying ways in his head that they could save him. He sat for days on end, obsessively searching the Internet for something, anything, that could save Harry's life.

But there was nothing they could do. Nothing.

Of course no one took it worse than Louis. Because the truth was, since the moment he found out, Louis was no longer Louis. Or maybe, he just didn't know how to be Louis without Harry. And Louis body physically ached at the thought of loosing Harry.

Nothing could ever make him hurt more than never seeing Harry again.

Because every inch of his being was Harry. Every cough, every step, every blink, every breath was all fucking Harry.

The silence that filled the hospital room as Louis, Niall, Zayn, Liam, Gemma, Robin and Anne sat waiting for Harry to wake up was loud. So excruciatingly loud that it could have woken up the whole of London; the whole of England.

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Harry didn't want to wake up.

He didn't want to die. But he just didn't want to wake up. He knew that the second his eyelids opened he would be thrown into a life of questions, looks, tests and pain.

So much pain.

It would be so much easier if he just didn't wake up.

But that wasn't who Harry was. So, no matter how sick and tired he already was, he volunteered himself up to do whatever it takes to survive.

His eyes flickered open.

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Harry stayed in the hospital for one week after he collapsed.

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