You Can't Hurry Love

Chapter Sixteen

DECEMBER 8th

AIDEN: 24

"Loves nights in with a pizza and a cuddle. Once travelled around Europe in a three-wheeler. Looking for my perfect gym spotter."

A gym spotter? What the hell is one of those? Is he just looking for someone to walk around with him going, 'Oh, there's a gym . . . and there's another one'. I have no idea what that even means. Yeah, this guy isn't for me.

I swipe left as I spoon some more cereal into my mouth.

LEO: 22

"About me: Maker of a mean chilli con carne and a bit of a joker.

About you: Ready to delete your Tinder."

Right, okay, this one seems like a bit of a laugh and he's quite cute too. But he calls himself a joker . . . I'm up for a giggle like the best of them but what if he's one of those guys who takes them too far, because I don't think I could put up with someone like that.

There was someone like him on my college course who ended up getting lamped in the face because he kept pulling pranks on all of us until one day a guy just had enough and socked him one.

. . . sorry Leo.

(Swipe left)

ANDREW: 21

"Can someone tell me how to lower the difficulty settings on Tinder?!"

Too young . . .

(Swipe left)

CHRISTOPHER: 26

"I'm everything you've been looking for in a man"

(Swipe left)

DOUG:24

"Aussie man trying to soak up some London vibes. In desperate need of a tour guide!"

Now, hello . . . Doug is gorgeous! And he's around my age too so no worries there. But there's something stopping me from swiping right and I can't put my finger on it. He looks pretty amazing from the pictures of him that I've totally just stalked, with his shaggy blond hair and super tanned skin. But according to his profile, he has a dog called Bonnie in Australia and if he's willing to leave her to travel around England maybe he has commitment issues . . .

And you know what, he looks a bit too adventurous for me. There are pictures of him abseiling and white-water rafting and to be honest, that scares the living daylights out of me. The scariest thing I've ever done was go to Trampoline World for a hen do a few years ago. That day got wild!

. . .

I spoon the last of my cereal into my mouth and put the empty bowl back onto the table, sitting back and staring at Doug's photos some more.

. . .

Oh, for God's sake Dottie, stop overthinking everything.

I swipe right and do an internal screech of nervous excitement before checking the time on my phone. 9:15am. That gives me a few more minutes on here before I have to leave.

I hate to say it but I've been on Tinder all morning, this thing is blooming addictive. Yes, I'll admit it's not the most conventional way of finding a partner but it's just so easy. A swipe left for no and a swipe right for yes. And I can hardly complain when I've had more interest in the last few days than I have in my entire life, can I? It's just a bit of a pain having to wheedle out the no-go's because there are quite a few of them, even for people who aren't as fussy as I am. But you can tell the one's just looking for a quick bonk in the back of their car from a mile away.