My Greatest What If - Gio Ortega (2023)

Chapter 5

I waited with bated breath as Moira gaped at me. I knew that I only had one chance and I had just used it. The problem was I took the risk without carefully considering the odds.

Oh, shit...sampal yata aabutin ko nito.

"What did you say again?" she asked.

"Um..."

"Anong sinabi mo, Gio?"

"Ahh..."

"Say it."

"I said I want you to take a chance with me."

"Wait for it..." she said.

I stared at her in bafflement until she arched her brow. "There it goes," she added.

I pushed down the disappointment that threatened to swallow me whole. Wala. Wala talaga.

"Naintindihan mo naman siguro, 'di ba?"

I nodded with an awkward smile. "Ang tindi ng pagtaas ng kilay mo..."

"Masyado akong maganda para gawing panakip-butas, ha, Gio. Hindi pang-kontrabida itong mukha ko. Pang-Disney princess 'to."

I laughed softly.

"Now, let us talk about this set-up once and for all. Girlfriend mo ako sa papel, pwede tayong magpirmahan ng kontrata kung gusto mong makasigurado. Kaibigan mo ako sa totoong buhay at paninindigan ko 'yan. Ayoko ng nilalandi, Gio—"

"Dahil ganito ako?" I couldn't help but ask. "Hindi mo nasisikmura ang makipagrelasyon sa isang katulad ko?"

I didn't want to hear her say yes. For the first time, I wanted to hear a no from her. And even before she could deny or confirm my insecurity, my soul was slowly shattering at the thought.

"Anong kinalaman ng pagkatao mo sa lovelife ko?" she said.

"So, it's not because I'm—"

She vehemently shook her head. "No."

Relief flooded me.

"Wala akong pakialam what your gender preference is or how you express it. Ang sa akin lang, irespeto mo naman ako. I respeto mo 'yung pagkakaibigan natin. May mahal kang iba, eh. Kaya nga tayo nandito, kaya nga tayo nagkita dahil sa kanya, 'di ba? So, it's off that here you are flirting with me when we both know that you have not gotten over your ex."

Ito na yata ang tinatawag na karma. She really thinks I still have feelings for Leslie. Shit, George, paano mo babaguhin 'yung gan'ung iniisip n'ya?

"Tinutulungan kita ngayon kasi pareho nating kailangan ang tulong ng isa't isa pero hanggang doon lang 'yun, sana klaro 'yan, Gio. I don't want that line between us to turn blurry kasi ayokong mailang sa'yo, okay?"

Okay." I smiled at her. "At least malinaw."

I stood. "Halika na, ihahatid na kita."

Random things were running inside my head as we left the restaurant – mainly concerning my insecurities about my gender.

I grew up knowing that I wasn't typical – I had always hated growing my hair long, wearing skirts and dresses, and had always been thoroughly disgusted with those pink, ruffled, high-heeled shoes that my mother had wanted me to wear as soon as I turned seven. I had eternally abhorred the ballet class my parents enrolled me in, the teddy bears and Barbie dolls Mom used to buy for me, and had detested being told to act like a lady. But, I had endured them all because I was raised to be a dutiful daughter. Until I turned ten.

"Your Dad and I were there waiting for you, excited to see your ballet recital and you were nowhere to be found!"

"Mom, I don't like ballet...please..."