Is That What You Wanted? (Ao no Exorcist )

~ Chapter 8 ~

Hey, this chapter contains suicidal themes, if you do not feel comfortable reading it perhaps you should go read something else ^^ also here is a cute pic of Rin from the manga

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rin's Pov:

Another plain day, again nothing special. School, study, sleep, repeat. I am getting more and more tired no matter what I do, how I wish that I died but now Yukio won't leave me alone not even for a minute so I can kill myself or even cut. They told me that 'there is so much to live for!' but what is so special about meaningless repentance? They even gave me these pills that don't even work for some reason... How disappointing. 

It was now around 7 pm and Rin was trying to study but all he attained was to stare at the blank notebook and do nothing. Yukio saw what was happening and suggested he take a break. All Rin wanted at that moment was fresh air. He stood up and attempted to exit the room but Yukio was too scared to leave him alone even for a second '' Rin where are you going? ''

'' At the roof to get some fresh air '' Yukio froze immediately at what he said. Was he really gonna go back there after what happened? '' Then I'll come with you'' '' Fine, do as you wish '' Rin wasn't an idiot he knew that he wouldn't let him go there alone.

So the two boys walked all the way up and sat at Rin's classic spot looking at the sun go down. '' Does it feel weird? '' Yukio said hesitating a bit '' Huh...?'' '' I mean, after what happened... Do you really feel comfortable sitting here? '' '' It's not my first time ya know '' Yukio stared at him with wide-open eyes confused as never before, what does he mean? '' What?'' he said '' I guess dad really did keep his promise...'' '' Rin what are you talking about?'' '' Back when I was around 14 I attempted my first suicide but dad found me'' ''What? Why wasn't I informed? '' '' Well pff, I don't know! Why wasn't I informed that I was a demon?'' Yukio knew that Rin had a point but still '' How did that happen? '' '' Well I was at the bathroom about to split my wrists when he got in by accident. He looked shocked as shit... '' '' I see... but why didn't you tell me? I mean even after he passed away '' '' Well I didn't think it was necessary. After he died I wanted to follow his path and I really didn't think much of it '' '' I am your brother you know... You can talk to me '' Yukio said in a worrying voice. How could Rin talk about all these and feel nothing? It was quite problematic. Rin said nothing and just stared at the now dark blue sky full of stars '' I am here for you, please don't go away like that '' he was now feeling a little awkward. Moments like these make him cringe but he understands where he is coming from '' I know... '' '' Hey, how is it going with your therapist? '' '' Pretty good '' '' I mean do they help? do you feel any better with your medication? '' Rin didn't feel any difference, he even felt worse but he lied '' Yes, I feel better these days '' '' Oh that's good... '' He now wanted to avoid talking to Yukio, after all these questions. He was scared that things are gonna go wrong or he is going to pressure him more '' Anyway... Let's go back it's getting late '' Rin said and got up to leave.

With that, they walked back to the dorms, continued their work, and went to sleep.

Two pills down

It doesn't matter if they don't work on him, he takes them for Yukio. The last thing he wanted was for him to get in trouble because of it. He follows his medication even if it doesn't work for him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey haha, this chapter was a bit short sorry! Also thank u so much for your comments! I am happy to see that ya all like the story! Sorry for leaving the story for so long but hey, we are near the end.