Honesty - Criminal Minds || Spencer Reid Fanfiction

20. From Past To Present

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." ~ Søren Kierkegaard

The Daughter

The memory of New Year still makes me smile, and it was three months ago now. Neither Spencer nor I mentioned the 'I love you' thing, and it wasn't said again after that either.

We'd already declared our love for each other whilst we were in the flooding room, and obviously beneath a blanket of fireworks at new year... but there was something totally different about declaring our love on just an average Tuesday.

Unfortunately, after new year, we didn't really get a lot of time together due to work which was pretty chaotic and non-stop with cases.

Out of work I was kept busy with Jack, especially while Aaron went to visit Beth in New York every second weekend. This wasn't a light decision for him, but after I'd persuaded him that I'd be able to handle Jack for a whole weekend on my own; it became a pretty frequent thing.

Which was great for Jack and I. We had lie-ins and movie-marathons and I got to teach him all about Doctor Who so he'd quit teasing Spencer and I.

Talking of Spencer and I; we'd kind of grown apart since New Year. Which was sad because I really thought we were going places. New Year had showed me the intimate side to Spencer Reid and I loved what I saw. I was finally believing we could be serious together and properly committed. But now... Now I wasn't so sure.

I watched him sleeping from across the jet, chewing on my bottom lip in wonder. He was avoiding me. Wasn't he? If we were paired during cases - which was rare nowadays with Aaron wanting us to be concentrated entirely on the case at hand - he'd only talk stats and only talk about the case.

If I stayed the night - which had only happened a handful of times since New Year - he'd keep the TV on until I fell asleep on the sofa - where I'd wake in the morning.

I wasn't sure what he was frightened of; but there was definite fear there. Was it the intimacy? Was it rejection? Was it committment? I didn't know what Spencer's fear was and I was afraid that I'd never find out.

"Hey Mel," Morgan's voice interrupted my reverie and I looked up to see him sitting down on the lone chair opposite me. "What's up?" He asked and I sighed, giving him a small smile and shaking my head.

"Nothing I'm fine." I lied.
"C'mon," He said in a serious tone, looking at me with an arched eyebrow. "It's me here. What's wrong?" I sighed and looked down at my jacket covering me.

"I think Spencer's going to break up with me." I mumbled in a quiet voice. He was asleep but that didn't count for anything; that boy was a genius and his talents still surprised me.

"What?!" Morgan blurted. "What makes you say that?" He scoffed. I sighed emphatically and turned my eyes to the window beside me.

"Oh I dunno..." I muttered. "He's just been avoiding me lately... We haven't hung out in a while, he hasn't seen Jack in so long and he's starting to ask questions, not to mention what Beth's asking... He barely talks to me at work and is completely avoiding me at all times." I explained a little defensively. Morgan sighed and turned to look over his shoulder at sleeping Spencer.

"Has something happened between you to make him like this?" He asked, turning back to me. "You don't have to tell me what, I'm not prying." I shook my head with a small smile and sparkling eyes; Morgan was trying to help and I appreciated that.

"Nothing's happened at all. Nothing whatsoever Morgan," I explained sadly. "The last thing that happened between us wasn't anything bad and it was way back at New Year." Morgan thought for a moment and frowned.