The Taint of Wolves

Closer.

Chapter Seventeen:  Closer.

Holidays.

Mam had gone on holidays. I made Kale wait then, too afraid to hear her voice. She would sense what I had become. Lordie, I was going to ruin their lives. I wanted her to enjoy a break with her friends, sitting out in the sun.

Before I ruined her life.

Which was silly. Being taken by the Ravi wasn't my fault. I had been a victim, and I wasn't to be blamed. I couldn't be blamed for how I had pieced myself back together either, but it was so hard. So hard to love a creature so vile.

I went to Easton as he was taking the plates from lunch into the kitchen. Afternoon light cut in through the window, and the Alpha hummed as he scrubbed the plates. Lux's voice pitched higher, keeping the twins' attention. She always seemed to know.

Easton didn't turn as I entered. "Are you still hungry?"

"I think I'll always be hungry." I ran a hand over the tea-towel, pausing at the embroidered little flowers.

"I can make you something?" He peeked down at me briefly. "It would be no trouble."

I took a breath, and the words came tumbling out. "You helped them."

"Of course."

"When I couldn't." The shame cloyed my throat.

"That wasn't your fault." He told me swiftly. "It was mine, and it was the Ravi who did that to you."

"No." My fingers clenched in the cloth, my rebuttal sharp and swift. "No, you're nothing like them."

Easton set down the plate, shaking his sudsy fingers. "Nova, I didn't mean to upset..."

"No. No." Lordie, words were hard. "No. You made mistakes. You did, but so did I. But you helped my family when I couldn't. And even if I had been there, you did more for them than I ever could have done."

I could have worked my fingers to the bone, but I never would have been able to get the twins into a good school, or afford the farmhouse my mother had always asked for.

His expression softened. "Fancy schools and a farm-house is nothing compared to what your presence would have given them. Don't put yourself down like that."

Though his words were soft; he said it with such determined firmness that I could not find it in myself to argue. I didn't believe his words, but he did. He believed that I would have been a benefit to them. My disappearance had opened up possibilities to the twins that weren't dreamed of before.

I couldn't break him as easily as I could break the three beyond the kitchen, but my touch was soft. The Alpha froze as I lay a hand over his, my smile brittle. "Thank you."

He swallowed. "You don't have to thank me."

"But I am." I squeezed his wrist before retreating, clearing my throat awkwardly. "That doesn't mean I'll help you clean up."

"You've already begun to help." He arched a brow, his smile perplexed.

"Well, I'm not helping anymore." I retreated, cheeks flushing as he laughed. It was such a raw sound – a bit goofy too.

"Oh, I see." He snorted. "Am I just going to languish here in the kitchen?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, rot in here for all I care."

"You've broken my heart." He told me seriously. "I am heartbroken. My heart is falling to pieces on the floor as we speak. Can you get me a sweeping brush? For my broken heart."