BAU baddies
Derek: good morning sexy sussy bakas😖😖😖
Emily: why 😐🖕🏻
Hotch: on a run rn cant talk
Derek: can I watch?🤤🤤
Y/n: ayo🤨 YOURE DOING TOO MUCH MORGAN
Derek: you can join me🙄🙄
Reid: I'd rather y/n not.👾
Emily: OMG DID THE DATE GO WELL I FORGOT
JJ: obvi hes being protective af☝🏻
Reid: We ate nutella together and read books! :)
Rossi: that's nice kiddos I hope you both had fun!
Derek: not pretty boy getting sum sum😏😏 oooo yuh fuck it up fuck it up
Emily: shut up😍🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻
Derek: LEAVE ME ALONE LET ME LIVE DONT YOU HAVE ANOTHER DEATH TO FAKE??????🖕🏾🖕🏾
Hotch: Behave. Both of you.
Y/n: ^ yall fight like a married couple 🙄
JJ: NO NO NO
Emily: got my wifey jealous now I'm gonna get spanked 😖🖕🏻
Derek: YO WHAT??🤔😁😡
Hotch: not in the office.
Y/n: tf where is funny Hotch
Derek: mfer is grumpy after this run 🖕🏾🖕🏾🙄
Reid: Actually, after physical exercise, the brain releases heightened amounts of dopamine and serotonin. It's unusual to be grumpy after working out unless theres an outside cause affecting your mood.
Emily: damn maybe he got stood up again
Hotch: HUH
Emily: I know things okay 💅💅
Derek: giving me... stalking our boss vibes 🤔🤔 me too😏
Hotch: I would say I'm giving you a psych evaluation but youd probably say you like that 🤮
Derek: DING DING DING eval my psych 😣😣
Emily: WE ALL ARE BEGGING YOU TO STOP, I WILL PAY YOU TO STOP.
Derek: IT IS FUNNY 😖😖😖😖
Hotch: NO ITS NOT.
Derek: 😡😡😡🖕🏾 fuck you
Hotch: Absolutely not.
Garcia: what's going on?? :3
Garcia: CHOCOLATE THUNDER STOP HARASSING HOTCH ???
Derek: For now, only for you babygirl 😍😍😍
Reid: I have a "meme" I want to send
Emily: okay??? Send it tf??
Derek: NOT PRETTY BOY DISCOVERING MEMES DAWG UTS 2021 IF YOU SEND SOME FUCK SHIT DOGE SHIT FROM 2007 ILL KILL MYSELF 😨😨
Emily: ^ I'm gonna have to agree
Garcia: PLEASE WATCH HIM SEND A TROLLFACE MEME ILL PISS MYSELF
Y/n: NOO😭😭 SWEET BOY DO NOT
Hotch: What the fuck is a trollface
JJ: WHYD YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT HEBEKSJWJ
Hotch: WHAT IS THAT ?? 🧍🏻♂️??
Garcia: google it
Hotch: 👍🏻
Y/n: who drank my apple juice??
Derek: ...
Y/n: LITERALLY A MENACE WHYY🤬🤬
Hotch: okay that's the most unfunniest shit I've ever seen in my life
Garcia: it was top tier humor in the early 2000s old man
Garcia: SOREY SORRY I DIDNT MSAN NEHE BFJE NO IM SORRY SIR IM SO SORRY
Emily: 💀 plz
Hotch: Damn and I thought I had no sense of humor lmao
Reid:
Y/n: LMAO WIAT 😭😭😭 MY FAVORITE BOY THATS SO FUNNY OMG
Derek: ...💀 PLEASE OKAYOKAY I SEE YOU
Hotch: ..okay yeah that's kinda funny
Emily: REID💀💀
Rossi: okay but yeah, it's true why would you name a berry after a tube you drink out of???
Reid: Actually, although the exact origin of its common name is uncertain, the fruit being named 'strawberry' probably is a corruption of the phrase "strewn berry". The latter was an early designation for the plant which made reference to the fact that, as the 'strawberry" plant produced runners and spread all over the place, so it's berries were strewn about on the ground.
Hotch: Huh, so.. the meme isnt funny now👍🏻
Derek: PLEASE😭😭☝🏻 THE LIL THUMBS UP
Garcia: IVE BEEN TEACHING HIM TO USE THEM MORE IN A FUNNY CONTEXT OMG IM SO LITERALLY SO PROUD HOTCH !! :D
Emily: y/n come collect ur mans 💅💅😭
Reid: Who, me? :)
Y/n: Yes you sweet boy
Garcia: OMFG PLEASE
Emily: why is it cute when they flirt but when JJ and I do it its gross
Hotch: you had sex in the bullpen.
JJ: okay fair enough understandable 💀
Emily: yeah valid point ig at least my wife isnt dead tho❤❤
Hotch: You're not even married??
Emily: could be
JJ: ..I divorced last time I got married
Emily: was a man though
JJ: ...
JJ: Wanna get married?
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!