safe place • lashton (on hold)

• 1 • safe place •

luke was a shy kid, let alone an adult. now at the age of 18, with him and his band travelling the world headlining shows, he is still that shy little kid, so when the four boys were set to warm up for their show, luke was could you say, shitting himself.

"hey luke, you good mate?" michael asked from his seat on the black leather lounge, while the blonde boy paced the room. he stopped and contemplated this question, he was physically ok, but mentally freaking out, but johnothan always taught him to be a man and not to be wuss. luke nodded his head at his band mate, but the boy only shook his head in response to him.

"then why are you pacing?" luke didn't know what to say, he wasn't very good with his words, even around the boys. the only time he was confident with his words is when he was hurt himself writing them down as the melody to complement a guitar riff.

"just thinking." the blonde decided to reply with. not too vague but hopefully not too questionable either.

michael just shakes his head and stands up to walk out of the room. luke let's put a breathe. he does feel bad for his fiends, they're always concerned for his mental health but he can't bring himself to open up tk them fully and burden them with the information. of course they all knew some details about what affected luke- some more than others. but none of them were there when it was really bad, when he could barely get out of bed, when he was too scared the leave the house, when he was too scared to even speak.

our of the four, ashton was the closest to the blonde. there was no reason for this other than ashton serving as a father figure to all the boys when they've been touring the last two years. ashton was there for every nightmare, every breakdown, every anxious moment, he was there for them all. and only when it was dark outside, all the blinds were shut and ashton was sitting with his arm over the blondes shoulders is when he would open up. when he knew it was safe and that he was safe, he felt safe with ashton, they all felt safe with ashton.

ashton knew this of course and would always be there for all three of the boys, them all returning the favour when needed because ashton had his shit too. ashton would be the first pout of contact for anything, any trouble, any worries, anything.

so when luke was sitting there in his own head and he heard the door slam shut he jumped, not wanting to look back, he cowered into himself with his head between his knees as they were brought up to his chest.

"hey bud, i'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you." he heard the voice of his safe place and looked up to make eye contact with the older boy.

"it's ok." was the only thing he got in return, luke never really said anything to anyone even ashton.

"hey, you alright? mike told me you were a bit preoccupied with your mind?" the older man asked as he sat on the floor cross-legged in front of the the blonde.

"nervous s'all." luke mumbles resting his chin on his hand as he moves to sit like ashton. "there's a bigger audience than usual." he mumbled.

"yeah, but they're all here to see us aren't they? there's nothing to be nervous about, it's not like we made them come." the older one tried to joke, but it didn't get any response.

"that's the point." the blonde exclaimed. "they wanted to see us and i'd feel horrible if we went out there and did shit." he sighed and rested his back against the wall, letting his hands fall to his lap as he lent his head back.

"well then just done be shit, we've been practicing this set for so long luke. we've done it so many times before and you've done it perfectly, there is nothing to worry about mate." ashton said looking sympathetically towards the boy.

he just sighed in response and nodded his head. "just don't be shit." he muttered under his breathe and ashton smiled.

"yes, there you go, just don't be shit." he copied.

luke looked up at ashton and smiled. "thanks ash." he said as he went to stand, the older one bringing him into a hug as they both stood.

after a solid two minutes they pulled away and ashton squeezed luke on the shoulder gently. "you'll do amazing lukey." he said reassuring the boy. he just smiled and thanked him, repeating the phrase back.

one of luke's biggest fears has always been disappointing people, one reason for this would be because if he were to four years ago, it would've resulted in something a lot more harmful than a hate comment on how bad he performed that night.

as ashton left the room, luke stood there thinking. if he were still in that situation there probably wouldn't be a luke standing here right now, there probably be a mama hemmings either. but he was so grateful and so lucky for the way things turned out, but the memories will never leave him, they occupy his mind constantly. taking over his dreams and infiltrating his reality, making him scared of pretty much everything. making him afraid to speak his mind just in case he did something wrong.

luke was afraid of a lot, most things revolving someone other than ashton scared him, because ashton was his safe place and always will be right? he wouldn't do anything to hurt the poor boy, he'd been through enough.

ashton knew he wouldn't dare hurt him, but the concept of care and love was something luke only ever felt from a select few people, it was a foreign feeling but luke adored this feeling and wanted more, he wanted to be loved, he really did, he just didn't know how to cope with all of it.