𝐂𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀 | ✔️

14

SAMUEL O'CONNELL

fuck she's hot when she's like that.

what am i thinking?! ew.

i take back what i'm thinking if that's possible. what's some other thing i can do to cecilia now? considering she ruined our fun, now i'm going to ruin her fun.

i'm a dick.

her dad is abusing her. i can't let her go home this time.

yeah i can she deserves it.

no. i can't.

it's the end of detention now and as soon as it's done i just leave nathan and jules and walk to where  cecilia is. her and carter are talking and they're at carter's locker.

"we need to talk." i tell her avoiding eye contact.

she looks my way and then looks at carter. "i didn't know cockroaches can talk, did you know that carter?"

carter laughs and they walk away from me. fuck. i hate when she's like that. but it's really hot.

i need to get my head out of the gutter. this is cecilia we're talking about. she will forever be the girl i was friends with all my childhood and then left just to impress the popular kids.

now that i'm in that group, and now that i'm the centre of the group, it feels good however, every time i walk through those halls i realise that
all the attention i get isnt worth it if i get to live every day knowing that i'm the reason why someone's shitty life is more shitty.

"cmon cecilia, don't be a bitch." i try to catch up to her pase.

"don't worry carter, we're not friends, he's just obsessed with me." she assures carter ignoring me as they keep walking. "you want a ride home?"

"no i live 2 minutes away from school." he answers her. "thanks though."

she smiles and nods and they continue walking on the parking lot. they say there goodbyes and i walk up to her when she's alone.

"cecilia." i start but she cuts me off.

"samuel don't even start. he's had a tough life and you and your buddies-"

"don't fucking cut me off." i interrupt.

"i have every right, i can do whatever i want."

fuck she's grown a mouth hasn't she?

"yeah we'll see about that."

she steps close to me and lightly punches my arm to get my attention. "don't fucking threaten me ever again. and stay away from carter."

we stare into each others eyes for a good minute even though it felt like forever. she suddenly breaks the eye contact by turning her gaze to my lips, i can't help but look at hers.

i slowly lean in, i can't help it, look at her. she doesn't stop me when our lips are so close that our noses are touching. we stare into each others eyes again but this time for a second until she slaps me on my cheek, opens her car door and drives away.

that was the weirdest interaction i've had with her.

***

"hey baby, how was school." my mom asks trying to be enthusiastic as i walk in the kitchen where she is signing papers.

"it was fine." i answer and she pulls me in a small hug, i hug her back.

she digs her head in my chest and let's out a small sob as i rest my chin on her head. it breaks me to see her like this but i will always be here for her. she feels like she can't talk to me about it because she can't put that stress on us and it's not fair. it's not fair that my mom is keeping these emotions bottled up. it's not fair fir herself.

"i'm going caffeine and co. for dinner today." i tell her as she pulls away and nods. i hand her a tissue to wipe her tears. "want me to bring anything back home?"

"no sammy." she tells me. "also, i need a new babysitter for nate and emery."

"alright, love you." i say and go to the living where my siblings are. i sit on the couch. "hey guys."

"hi." emery says and goes on her phone. she's 13, she's a teenager and she's been pretty silent about the whole divorce. she doesn't know how to express her emotions when it comes to things, i guess me and her got that gene from my mom. nate is 6, he's a child and doesn't understand what's going on. he still thinks 'daddy' is around and we are a happy family.

truth is, we would've been a happy family if he left as soon as he realised that my mom isn't enough. he needs a slutbag, homewrecker to top my mom. his loss, not hers.

"sammyyyy!" nate cheers and jumps on me. i laugh and push him off.

i really only let family call me sammy. it's this thing that my family and cecilia call me. well, cecilia used to call me that. that's why it agitates me when a girl calls me sammy, it's cringe and it's a constant reminder of cecilia. like who the fuck are you to call me that?

i like when friends call me sam, i hate when people call me samuel. majority of people call me sam but there's just that one person who calls me by my real name.

it's immature to be this serious about nicknames but i am. fight me if you have a problem.

***

"hey sammy, we're over here." ashley calls. there's 4 girls who are in our group; ashley, jules, tammy and sarah and 3 guys; me, nathan and jaden. i've hooked up with each girl. don't know why i needed to add that but i did.

i fucking hate when she calls me sammy.

i sit at the table and the waitress comes. "what can i get you guys?"

everyone orders and then she turns to me. "what can i get you?"

"i just fucking came." i tell her as i flip through the dinner menu. "rib-eye with salad."

she writes it down and leaves.

"are you alright, sam?" nathan asks me and places a hand on my shoulder.

"yeah, you've been down all week." sarah comments.

"it's only monday." i say and look at my phone.

i turn to the corner of my eye and she walks in with him.

she's everywhere.