Save My Soul

Cool as a Cucumber [11]

11.

"I've seen him twice already... well, maybe, but this is a middle-class community. I just don't see how..."

I add another block to my growing tower - Jamie says it looks like the leaning tower of Pisa - and make a silly face at Lily to keep her from knocking it over.

"No, both times he was heading towards 41st street... Well, maybe, but what on earth would he be doing wandering the neighborhood at nighttime? It's fishy, to say the least... and he does really look homeless. All bedraggled..." Lillian's voice carries over from the kitchen where she's cooking dinner and talking to Jim on the phone. Jamie is sitting next to me, frowning over Katie's tangled hair which Lillian asked him to brush. Katie is wriggling in his lap and he keeps pulling her back down: finally, he clamps one leg over hers and says, "Cut it out, Katie!" and she sits still, looking convicted.

I sit across from Lily, who's sucking on what I think is a bottle cap. We're building a tower - well, I'm building it anyway, and she keeps trying to knock it over. The television is on and an old version of Winnie the Pooh is playing and I keep getting distracted by it because it's the one I used to watch when I was really small.

"That's the thing, he was hanging outside of Lizzie's house," Lillian's voice drops and something cold slithers down my spine.

Wait...

I turn to look at her. She's bent over the cutting board, slicing tomatoes, and she has the phone pressed in the curve of her shoulder.

"And she's all alone, you know, her father being away..." she says then pauses, listening. "Alright. No, I won't worry about it... God is good. Of course. Well, sure... alright, see you later, honey. Bye-bye."

I turn back slowly, my mind racing. Lily is staring up at me, round-eyed, spittle dribbling down her chin. Reaching up, she shoves in the lower part of the block tower and I watch as it topples all across the carpet with a clatter. Lily shrieks with laughter and Katie finally manages to squirm out of Jamie's grip to join her in a victorious tumble into the strewn blocks. Jamie rolls his eyes and tosses the brush onto the couch.

"I give up."

"You guys ready for dinner?" Lillian calls. The girls keep rolling on the carpet and Tigger bounces on the television and Jamie pulls out his phone and starts scrolling down the screen. Quietly, I get to my feet and make my way to the dining room. Lillian has already laid out the plates. I sit down and then just as quickly stand back up again. Nervously, I veer back towards the kitchen. I don't want her to ask me about the man but then I'm sure it'd be rude not to help her bring the food to the table. She smiles at me as I sidle up to her.

"I'm glad somebody's hungry," she says to me before frowning towards the dining room. "C'mon, kids! Turn off the television."

Jamie takes his time about it. I carefully carry the glass bowl of salad to the table and set it in the center. Lillian puts down a plate of fish filets and puts out the forks. Jamie comes in and sinks down at the table.

"Jamie, I expect you to take the initiative to..." Lillian says in an undertone to him while I go back to the kitchen to get the potatoes. Everything smells so good. My stomach is rumbling. I can't resist popping a soft, buttery bit of potato into my mouth before carrying the dish back to the table. Jamie is just getting to his feet.

"Why can't you get them yourself? They're your kids," he throws at her before going back towards the living room. Lillian stares after him, holding a stack of napkins loosely in her hands. I look down, pretending I hadn't heard anything, placing the hot dish on the table. After a moment, she turns back and places the napkins next to the forks.