Sofia's Secret Mafia Brothers

22. Pain Inside My Head

Trigger warning!! Self-harm

Alessandro after a long day liked to sit at his office with cigar and glass of whiskey in his hand. He was still in his suit not ready yet to loosen up. He was thinking about his sister sudden arrival and the situation that unfolded at the police station.

"Did you got everything for school?" Alessandro asked the moment his younger brother entered his office.

"And clothes. Yes. I'm worried about Sofia" Francesco admitted as he poured whiskey for himself.

Alessandro rested his drink on the table and gave Francesco his full attention.

"What do you mean?" He asked in stoically calm manner.

"Past events must took a tool on her she looked.. sad today. She didn't enjoy our time out at all" Francesco admitted.

"Maybe she doesn't like shopping" Alessandro suggested.

"Maybe" Francesco responded and Alessandro could feel that his brother was still concerned. Rightfully so. They had to keep an eye on her, Alessandro knew that very well.

"What are we going to do about the tests results..." Francesco changed the topic. "She might be a daughter of-"

"It doesn't matter. If she is his daughter or not, this doesn't concern us. We have no obligation to inform them about anything, in fact we will make sure they don't know. She has been through enough" Alessandro said firmly.

"We can't hide her from them for too long. You know how things work. When they will learn Don Alessandro Ianniello has a sister they will come with sons and marriage proposals" Francesco said with visible disgust in his voice.

"We need to focus on building our relationship with her and if they ever find out about her we will do everything in our power to protect her"

Valentino entered the room.

"You called?"

🔆🔆🔆

Sofia still was feeling uneasy in Ianniello household despite everyone being so nice to her. She couldn't get rid of the memory of Valentino holding the gun pointed at her. Apologies were not enough. She needed answers. Now she was ready to ask them.

She got up from her bed and went towards Alessandro office. She was about to knock when she realized someone is inside. She shouldn't be eavesdropping but she couldn't help herself.

"The DNA results indicates that Sofia is our half-sister. It complicates things" the male voice from behind the door spoke. She recognized it. It was Francesco.

Sofia felt like her heart drops to her stomach. Does it mean they're going to get rid of her? If they only share a mother maybe they won't consider her full family member.

"What do you mean? Complicates how?"

"They might try take her away from us"

Sofia didn't want to listen anymore. Her head was filled only with black scenarios as she ran towards her room.

🔆🔆🔆

"Who? Don't tell me social services-" Valentino asked confused. He was sitting on the sofa next to Francesco and he was now staring at his oldest brother with confusion.

"Denaros"

"What do they have to do with anything?" Valentino snarled his voice full of hate and disgust.

"Everything. I'm fairly certain that she shares father with them" Alessandro took a sip of his whiskey. "Catarina cheated with the one man our father couldn't kill. The head of Denaro family"

"We can't let them to get their hands on Sofia" Valentino said clearly shaken and stood up and started pacing. We need to protect her from them"

"I fully agree with you. At school, keep an eye on her. Make sure she won't get to close to Alessio. We don't know how much does he knows about his father's past"

"Shouldn't we warn her? You know, tell her that she might be related to Denaro's and that she should be careful"

"Do you feel ready to let her know we're leading one of the most powerful crime syndicates in the country? Because if you don't you won't be able to explain why relationship between us and Denaros is not just mere brawl between two normal families. Sofia cannot be informed not yet. She's not ready"

"If she's not ready why are you sending her to school?" Valentino said stubbornly.

"Because keeping her locked up in the house won't make her prepared for what's out there. I trust that you will take care of her"

"No one will dare to touch her. I will make sure of it"

"Good. Otherwise I will be forced to reconsider my decision"

🔆🔆🔆

"They might take her away from us"

Those words were stuck in Sofia's head. She was breathing heavily from running, her hands were shaking.

During few sessions she had with psychologist she learned that when experiencing panic attack she should focus on something, an object so she focused on a white, soft pillow laying on her huge bed. She picked it up and started tracing the floral pattern stitched with the white thread. She tried to make her breathing even. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

When she calmed down Sofia finally took a good look of her room. It was beautiful and huge. It was the size of the living room in her mother's house. The walls were painted in universal white color but the wood was dark, the pieces of furniture looked like well restored antique the bed had baldachin white curtains over the bed contrasted with dark almost black wood furniture was made from.

But the wonder and fascination with the room was replaced with sadness.

She wondered why she bothered to unpack. She really dared to think she will be allowed to stay in such a nice place? Ridiculous.

This place didn't look like something she belonged to. She didn't deserve to have nice things, she would never fit in here. Normally she wouldn't even dare to ask to work as a maid in a place like that. And yet she dared to dream that she will live here? She was so embarrassed, so ashamed of herself.

The shame triggered her desire to hurt herself but nothing sharp was available within the reach of her hand. It felt like she's in the trance. She was frustrated angry. Her head was spinning from all the emotions she felt nauseous from anxiety. She didn't even realized how she turns her room into a mess. She looked at the trashed room and realized there was no need to do all this. If she just took her time to think instead of panicking she would found what she needs.

She needed sharp object, physical pain.

But there was nothing there. She was incredibly frustrated because she didn't want to leave the room and meet one of her brothers when she's in this messy state. When she was feeling in this way she reacted with nothing but aggression when someone bothered her.

She started to pack her clothes again into her old, dirty backpack that looked like it was to break down any minute now.

As she was frantically putting everything back where it was something fell down from the pocket of her pants. It was the knife. The knife Anastasio gave her.

He gave her this so she could protect herself and she was doing the opposite.

There was a part of her that screamed. No, what are you doing and the other part that was saying finally. Sofia knew that she's going to deeply regret her choices in the morning. She knew it wasn't right. She knew she needs to stop. But she kept telling herself.

Just one more cut.