Let You Down |Azriel|

.14.

Enamored was one word. Head over heels, intoxicated. I couldn't stop stealing glances from Azriel. Just the lightest smile continued to grace his face as he mulled over the wine in his hand while standing next to Cassian. Cass was talking about Gods knows what, it didn't seem like Az was really listening, either. I stood on the veranda with Mor, we said nothing as we sipped on our glasses, awaiting the arrival of Feyre. I braced myself on the bannister and stared up at the night sky. It was always so beautiful. Granted, we were in the night court, but still.

"Lia?" I heard Az call from where he had been standing.

When I turned to face him, he had begun to make his way toward me. My heart always fluttered when I looked at him. Mor gently nudged my arm before stepping away from us and make her way inside. Az stood next to me and looked out at the night sky. I brought the hand my glass was in to him, just barely brushing the back of his hand. It sent a fire rushing through my veins, one much different than what I could conjure.

"How's your night been?" I questioned.

"Much better, now," he smiled into his glass before taking a sip.

Before I could say something else, Az tugged me inside. I had been confused but quickly understood once I noted Rhys and Feyre approaching. She needed as much space and privacy as she could have. I know I wouldn't want to be ambushed by strangers. Especially when two of those strangers were massive men with huge black wings. I never wanted the close proximity between him and I to end. Nevertheless, Cassian decided to approach the veranda a few minutes after the two had touched down which in turn caused Az to trail him.

I took the opportunity to go refill my glass and run to the bathroom. My eyes looked strange as I glanced at the mirror. When I thought about it more in depth, everything about me looked strange. An uncomfortable feeling stirred in my chest. This was something I hadn't experienced in a long while. It was frustrating that it was occurring at all. Especially since there hadn't been anything to trigger it.

I sat down on the bathroom floor and let the dissociative state come upon me. There was nothing that could be done about it by myself. I simply closed my eyes and attempted to pace my breathing. Who knew how long I'd been in that bathroom, attempting to get my shit together. It could have been 5 minutes, or it could have been 2 hours. Granted if it had been 2 hours someone would have likely come looking for me. When my vision returned in full, I stood up at got my bearings.

I kept my footsteps quiet as I returned to the dining room and walked in as Cassian so graciously stated, "You know I'm always happy to tangle in the sheets with you, Amren. I know how much you enjoy Illyrian-"

He was cut off by something Rhys had said, but my return from my previous state had still occluded some of my concentration. I took my place next to Azriel and started at my plate, absent-mindedly tracing the base of my wine glass.

The next thing I had heard was Mor. "Everyone always wants to talk-talk-talk. Can't we just eat-eat-eat and then talk?" Cassian gave her a funny look. "Don't let these busybodies boss you around," she told Feyre who sat next to Rhys clad in an absolutely beautiful gown.

"Pot. Kettle. Black," Cass spat before looking at Amren. "I always forget how bizarre that is," he took her plate and dumped half on his own before passing the rest to Azriel.

"I keep telling him to ask before he does that," he noted as he scraped the rest of her plate clean.

"You don't eat?" Feyre piped up.

"Not this sort of food," Amren flashed her bright white teeth.

"Cauldron boil me," Mor whined as she chewed on a piece of chicken, "can we not?"

Rhys cackled, "Remind me to have family dinners more often."

There was a bout of silence. Az nudged my arm and the action reminded me to pick up my fork and at least poke at my food. I felt a gentle knock in my mind, Rhys wanted to check on me. I let him in as I stared at the vegetables that covered half of my plate. I let him see everything that had happened, not knowing why it happened. His hesitation was apparent.

It might be because of Feyre. Seeing her might remind you of Under the Mountain. It might have set something off that you've worked to hide.

I gave a mental nod and he stepped out before returning to the conversation.

"How did you- I mean how do you and lord Cassian-" Feyre had been cut off by Cass spewing his wine all over the table, causing Mor to jump up, swear, and blot her dress with a napkin.

"As much as he probably enjoys the fact that you think it, Cassian is not a lord," Rhys explained.

"Wait, you three aren't high Fae?" She pointed at Az, Cass, and Amren.

I zoned out again. Only to be brought back with a statement by her, "I didn't see you under the mountain," referencing the same three.

"That's because none of us were there," Mor noted, looking rather grave.

"Amarantha didn't know they existed. When someone tried to tell her, they usually found themselves without the mind to do so," Rhys stated.

A few moments of silence, forks clinking and glasses being picked up and put down.

"So what's your story, then?" Cassian asked her.

I gave in to the part of me that was too tired to care anymore. My head leaned again Az's shoulder and sleep threatened to take me over. One of his hands slipped down my thigh and squeezed just above my knee. I took a sip of wine.

"You don't think it sends a bad message if people see me learning how to fight- using weapons?" Feyre's voice was quiet.

I choked on my wine, sat up and fought the reaction. At that point I had all eyes on me. "Did Tamlin tell you that?" My voice was rough. No answer. "Tamlin is a fucking fool. If you don't learn how to fight, your days are numbered. I'm sorry, but it's true. Do whatever you wish, but don't fear the wrath of that asshole. Better to be able to protect yourself than worry about the stupid opinions of anyone scared of you holding a sword."

She stared at me for a moment, blinked a few times, then turned her attention to Rhys. "I accept your offer to work with you."

He smiled, "Good, because we start tomorrow."

"What? Where?"

He locked his fingers together and placed his hands on the table. "The King of Hybern is about to start a war and he wants to resurrect Jurian to do it."

"Bullshit," Cassian spat, "that's impossible."

"How?" I piped up.

"That's what I want to find out."

Amren spoke up next, "Go to the prison, talk to the Bone Carver. He might have the information you seek."

"If it's the prison, I'll go. The sentries know me," Azriel offered.

"If anyone is going to go, it's me- and Feyre," Rhys interjected.

"What?" Mor questioned.

"He won't talk to any of us, we have nothing to offer him," Amren started, "but an immortal with a mortal soul? The Bone Carver might talk to her."

Several heartbeats passed. "How bad can it be?" Feyre stared at her plate.

Cassian was the one to answer, "bad."