To Dream or Not to Dream

Foreign Ground

Author's Note:  Hello friends! Thank you so much for reading and sticking with this story until this point.  I truly hope you enjoy it and please feel free to comment about what you like or what you don't like.  I want to get better at writing, so please be my critic.  :)  

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Late December 2016 - Toronto Cricket Club

"Boy, don't tell me you have lost your focus," Brian Orser spoke to the young man who was currently laid out on the ice, chest heaving after a fall. 

Occasional falls were common for any skater, and Yuzuru Hanyu was no exception to this, regardless of how good he was.  However, his practices of late were sub-par and below what Brian had come to expect from him.  Brian was not sure he had ever seen Yuzuru seem so unfocused.

Brian glanced questioningly at Javier, who had also been watching Yuzuru's run-through.

Javier simply shrugged.

Skating to where Yuzuru had fallen, Brian extended a hand.  "Seriously, I'm not sure I have ever seen you so out of it.  You feeling okay?"

Yuzuru took his hand and stood up. "I'm okay, just... tired."

"I know I don't have to tell you this, you already know, but the Olympics will be here in a little over a year," Brian spoke to the young man he had watched grow so much since the start of his time in Canada.  "You have to stay focused.  Whatever is on your mind, set it straight.  There is no time to waste and you can't afford an injury."

Rarely did Coach Brian need to adopt a stern tone when addressing Yuzuru. Such measures had seldom been necessary. Skating had always been Yuzuru's all-consuming passion, and he generally didn't need redirection. However, something appeared to have changed in that regard.

"You are right," Yuzuru met his eyes apologetically, knowing Coach Brian was right.  The coach's words had been the same ones buzzing around his head, long before they were said out loud.

He needed to stay focused.

Certainly, there were occasions in the past when Yuzuru had grappled with staying dedicated to his skating. As a child and teenager, there were distractions at every turn and on many occasions when he even considered giving the sport up entirely.  He had gotten better at staying focused over the years, even if it had meant sacrificing what many would have considered a normal life.

Yet, Yuzuru was not impervious to distraction.

It was the very reason he had been so annoyed with Isabella when she first arrived.  She had distracted him so acutely that he felt like a young schoolboy again- found daydreaming in the middle of class.  But now, instead of him being frustrated at her because of it, he just felt lost, because he couldn't control himself when it came to her.

Nothing was working for him.

He was distracted when she was here.

And he was even more distracted when she was gone.

Yuzuru wasn't sure if he was just making things worse by pretending there was absolutely nothing between them other than friendship.  Perhaps the only thing he was achieving was driving himself insane.  

Maybe if he indulged just a little bit...

Brian continued, "With all the competitions coming up within the next few months, please take care of yourself."

Yuzuru didn't know how to do that any longer.

"I really don't want to see all your effort go to waste," Brian finished.