His to Guard [PREVIEW]

CHAPTER 8

KENDRA

I look up at the ceiling as Jace moves on top of me.

I feel his hot breath on my neck and I can feel the knot in my throat get tighter every time he thrusts his hips against mine. I can still taste the tequila in my mouth and I try to focus on its bitter taste.

I'm drunk but I'm not drunk enough to not feel.

Sex with Jace used to be amazing and then it became more about him than me. I'm not sure why I let him initiate it tonight. I think I almost felt too lazy to fight him off. But now, I wish I would've stopped him because I feel disgusted having him on top of me.

I close my eyes and wait it off. Thankfully, I don't have to wait for too long and I let out a sigh of relief when he grunts and falls on his back next to me on the bed after he's done.

I feel annoyed with him and I turn on my side so I don't have to look at him. I feel a little hazy from all the drinks I had tonight and I wish they would've been enough to knock me out. I wish I could go to sleep but I stare at the couch across the room, feeling miserable.

I think back to the times that Jace used to be able to satisfy me. It's been so long. I can't remember the last time it was good between us. It was before...

I feel my eyes fill up with tears and I sit up and get on my feet, suddenly not wanting to be here. Jace doesn't even move and I know he's probably sleeping already.

I feel dirty and I walk to the bathroom and get in the shower. I feel a little numb as I stand under the running water. The hot tears run down my cheeks but they're hidden with the hot water. I begin to feel angry as I scrub my body. I look up at the ceiling as I lather the shampoo on my hair, feeling desperate to get out of here.

I finish the shower quickly and then I use a towel to dry my body. I pull my hair up in a bun and then I go back to the room and pick up my dress from the floor. I grab my purse and my heels and then I head outside.

Sawyer straightens up when he hears the door open and when I look at him, I feel a shot of shame run down my body. I don't know why. I don't owe anything to him but I know that it's just me.

I'm just broken and completely miserable.

"What's wrong?" He asks when he sees the tears on my cheeks. "Did he hurt you?"

"No," I say. "Please—just get me out of here."

He looks at me for a moment and I look away and begin walking down the hallway. I can't stand him looking at me right now. I feel too ashamed.

I'm a little drunk so I don't walk as straight as I want and Sawyer reaches for my arm and continues to lead me down to the elevators.

"Can you give me your jacket?" I ask him when we're in the elevator. "I don't want anyone to see me."

"Yeah," he says as he takes it off.

I gulp slowly as he places it on my shoulders. I can feel the warmth from it radiate all over my body and I keep my gaze down as he leads me out of the elevator after the doors open.

It's late so thankfully, no one notices me and I get inside the car as soon as he opens the door for me. I rest my forehead on the back of the seat in front of me and put my head down. I feel miserable. I always do after a night like tonight but today—I feel extra lonely.

Sawyer doesn't say a word as he drives us back to my hotel and he stays by my side when we walk in. He doesn't touch me when we step inside the lobby but he stays close—just in case I fall.

When we step in the elevator, I suddenly can't hold it in and I begin to cry.

I look away from Sawyer as I try to get myself to stop but I can't seem to be able to. He steps in front of me and he wraps his arms around me and holds me.