chapter thirty-four

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THE LIGHT IS blaringly bright the next morning when it hits my face, waking me up to the pounding headache taking over my head. With a moan, I turn over and search my bed for my phone. I find it dead, tangled in my sheets and my eyes dart over to the clock on the nightstand.

It's nearly noon.

I slept through the morning and nothing feels better. And it shouldn't, because nothing has changed but Luke said I'm worth the complication. I'm worth the struggle and so is he, so I'll deal with the pain. I'll deal with the distance, because our situation isn't forever, but he is.

He's my person.

The sound of my apartment door opening pulls my attention as I drop my phone onto the mattress next to me. "Emery?" Maggie calls out. "Are you up?"

"Not so loud," I mumble, holding my hands against my head as she steps into my bedroom. There's a gentle look on her face, but it's laced with amusement as she settles on the edge of my bed with a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen.

"Got a bit of a hangover?" she ask, trying to hide her laughter.

"You're not funny," I mumble.

"Sit up," she says, waiting for me to do so before holding out the cup for me to take. I take a sip of the water as she pops open the bottle and taps one of the extra strength tablets into my hand before taking my phone from the bed. "Tell me you didn't do something stupid," she says when the screen doesn't light up. She reaches over to my nightstand and grabs the cord, plugging it in to charge.

"No," I say as I bring the tablet to my lips, taking another sip of water to swallow with. "I called Luke."

"And?"

"And... I don't really remember what we talked about but he stayed on the phone with me until I fell asleep," I say and my heart flutters. "What's wrong with me, Maggie?"

"Nothing," she tells me as she turns. "Absolutely nothing."

"What if I can't do this?" I ask. "What if I can't do the long distance?"

"You never know unless you try," she says, reaching for my hand. "You know, Zane left Florida to be with me," she says. "I spent the summer with my grandparents, I did it every summer until I was about fifteen and then I thought I was too good for it. I wanted to stay in New York, but my parents had had enough so they forced me to go to my grandparents the summer. Not just for a few weeks, but the whole summer."

"You never told me that."

She shrugs. "I don't tell you everything."

"Don't we?" I ask with a small smile. "I didn't know you were long distance."

"We weren't," she says. "I convinced myself we were only a summer fling. I had these big plans and... he changed those plans. When I left for the summer, I came home to start college and Zane came, and he told me we were more than just a summer."

My lips curl up. "That sounds like him."

"Yeah," she says with a laugh. "It does. He picked up everything, having no idea if we were ever going to work. I mean, we only spent a few weeks together. We had known each other before then, but not really. It didn't matter to him though. He wanted to try so he came to me."

"I don't know if I can do that," I whisper.

"You don't have to, Em," she says.

"How is it supposed to work if I'm here and he's there?"

She slides forward on the bed, cupping my face between her hands. "If he's your person, you'll find a way to make it work. You don't need to make any big decisions now, and you'll figure it out. You always do."

I close my eyes. "I'm going to be fine."

"You're going to be fine." She nods her head in agreement. "You are quite possibly one of the strongest people I know, Em. You deserve to be happy, and you will be."

I shake my head. "I'm really not. I fell apart when a boy, one I've barely even started dating left, what about that is strong?"

"You love him," she says. "It doesn't matter how long you were together before he left. You love him, and that's the only thing that matters. And you're fighting to figure it out. I'd say that gives you a pretty strong case."

"You're such a liar."

She shakes her head as she slides into bed next to me, leaning her head against mine. "No, I'm just team Emery. Always have been, always will be."

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she says.

"And you're right," I say. "I don't need to move to Los Angeles to make this work. We can figure out long distance. We figured out friends, right?"

She nods.

"I just... I need something to focus on," I say. "You know, I think, if we work really hard we could get The Way We Were ready for the spring gala."

"Isn't that too soon?"

"For normal people, maybe," I say. "But we're Emery and Maggie. We could do it."

"Would Clark be okay with that?" she asks.

"It doesn't hurt to ask." I shift to face her. "It's going to be a lot of work, but if you're willing to work on a tight timeline than I am too."

"Well, we know that," she says. "You work way too often."

"So I've been told," I say with a weak smile, "but it makes me happy."

"Does it really?"

I nod. "It was my dream growing up," I say. "Getting to be the smallest piece of someone's story from first draft to final. It was my dream."

She watches me carefully, before pressing her lips together. "I know I'm always on you about how much you work, but I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy," I promise. "Even if I don't always seem like it."

"Good," she says. "That's all I want for you."

My lips curl up as I lean my head against hers, letting myself fall into the truth. My relationship with Luke is hard. It was hard before, and it's harder now, but it's not going to be like that forever and for now I have The Way We Were.

I have this book, these characters, and Luke what feels like a million miles away, but I still have him and one day he won't be so far away. One day, he'll be right here with me.

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