chapter ten

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"YOU'RE LATE!" MAGGIE calls out when I hurry towards our usual table at the small diner between our apartments. Our Saturday breakfast pact has been a tradition since I met Zane over two years ago. At first, I thought he had only invited me to be nice after seeing how miserable I had been in the waiting room of the ER, but it quickly became obvious it was because of how well we got along. It didn't take long for Maggie and me to become attached at the hip after that.

"I know! I know!" I say and sink into the chair next to her. "I got held up."

The memory of Luke's touch lingers on my skin as I run my fingertips over the back of my neck, relishing in the thought of his fingers there. I lost track of time with him, and I had scrambled out of his apartment fifteen minutes before I was supposed to be meeting them. And as a result, I was officially fifteen minutes late to breakfast.

Maggie's eyes narrow as Zane's lips curl up. "By what exactly?" she asks, knowing me far too well to know that I am never late. Never.

"I think the appropriate question would be by who, Mags," Zane informs her, briefly breaking her attention from me to her husband.

"Should it be?"

"No," I say too fast. "Maybe."

A small gasp falls from her lips as she leans into me. "Did you sleep with Luke again?"

"Not so loud!" I whisper, leaning onto my arms as I pull at my long sleeves. Zane snickers across the table from me, crossing his arms over his chest as Maggie gives me a questioning look. "Don't do that."

"No one here knows who you or Luke are, Em," she says with a laugh. "And I think it's good that you're branching out. You've only ever been with one person, it's good to know what else is out there."

"What happened with Luke last night, or the night before..." I trail off and swallow as I lean my forehead against my palms. "Or this morning is never happening again."

Zane smiles. "We believe you."

"No, you don't." I narrow my eyes. "I just, I can't go there with Luke. Things are done now. He's going to go back to being my irritating neighbor and I'll go back to being a know it all, and everything will be fine."

"We both know that's not true," Maggie says. "But I'll leave it."

"Luke will never be anything more than a player," I say and sit up, lifting my chin. "He doesn't do relationships and I... I want a Zane," I say, looking at my friends and feel the edge of jealousy in my chest at their relationship.

Zane and Maggie's relationship is like something out of a fairytale, and it amazes me every day that their kind of love exists in the real world. I get to watch their love story unfold, and it only makes me hope for one of my own someday. Something real and raw.

"I want a person who brings me lunch at work, just because," I say and look between them. "I want someone who looks at me like I put the stars in the sky. I want the relationship in my books, the ones too good to be true. I want... an unrealistic love."

"It's not unrealistic," Maggie says, reaching for my hand as she gives it a tight squeeze. "And you're going to get it one day, Em."

My lips curl up at her reassurance, squeezing her hand back just as tightly. I want to believe her. I'm so desperately trying to because I don't just want it to be the truth. I need it to be. I want the kind of love I can feel in my bones. I want something that consumes me.

"Are you sure Luke can't be that guy?" Zane asks.

My eyes shift to him, studying his face for seriousness. Even before I knew it, I had Zane in my corner. He's always been protective of me, especially after meeting Charlie, who left me alone in the ER with a broken ankle. It was in that moment I knew I would have him in my life forever. He's my best friend and because of him, I met Maggie. My other half.

The two missing pieces of my heart.

"Why are you saying that like you think he is?" I ask, picking at my sleeve as I lean back in my chair and try to make sense of what he's saying. One thing I learned about Zane very early on is that he says things like they are, and he isn't afraid to share his opinion.

"Because I haven't seen you smile this much in a while," he says.

"I have to say I agree," Maggie says with a gentle smile. "I understand that you've only ever seen Luke as one thing, but don't be afraid to have an open mind. It's okay to want to have fun in a relationship, too. And he might surprise you."

"Yeah, okay," I say. "I'm just going to ignore that you said that."

Maggie smiles as she looks at Zane. "She's in denial."

Zane's lips curl up into a bright smile, brightening his hazel eyes as Maggie giggles next to me. I shake my head at their antics, grateful and all consumed by my love for them. They're my family, and no matter what decision I make, I know I'll have them.


When we're done breakfast, we part ways with the weight of last night resting on my shoulders as I walk home. I try to cut Luke from my thoughts, but then he creeps up on me again. Just like that, the pressure in my chest is back and I relive the feeling of his touch on my skin. The warmth of his skin on mine and the knot that forms in the pit of my stomach because of how much I already miss it.

I don't want Maggie and Zane to be right, but I fear that they already are. I would be lying if I said I didn't like the way I felt around Luke. He looks at me in a way that is so different from the way Charlie did. He sees my independence, and it doesn't scare him. With Charlie, I was always walking on eggshells, waiting for the next mood change.

He wanted me. He didn't. He liked my independence. He thought I was too free-spirited.

It was all too much for Charlie.

My independence scared him, and somehow, with Luke, it feels different. He likes that I'm strong. He likes that I don't need him, and I realize it's because I want him.

The sinking realization is interrupted by the vibration of my phone in my pant pocket, bringing me back down to earth as I dig it out and answer at the sight of my brother's name on the screen.

"Hi Wren," I say with a smile as I tuck my free hand into my jacket pocket.

"Hey baby sister," he says, cheerfully. "How are you?"

"It's been an eventful few days," I say with a sigh. "But I'm always happy to hear from you. It's been a while."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry," he says. "It's been busy at the hospital."

"I imagine it would be, Dr. Wheeler."

He chuckles. "I'm still not used to that."

My lips curl up as I stop outside my apartment building, sitting on the cool concrete steps. Unlike me, Wren followed in the footsteps of our parents. His love falling into medicine, and he's good at it. He's always been a people person with a dire need to help, whereas I've always interacted better with people on paper. My parents were taken back when I said I wouldn't be going to medical school, but weren't surprised and, while it took a while, they eventually got on board with my love for books.

"Well, you better start!" I tease. "So what do I owe this phone call to?"

"I've actually got some exciting news," he shares.

"Oh, yeah? What is it?"

"It's more of in person kind of news," he explains. "Mom and dad are coming in from Milton tomorrow night for dinner. I was hoping you could join us so I can tell you together."

"Yeah, I'd love to," I say. "Should I be worried about this news?"

"Nah," he says. "It's good news."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, I'll text you the reservation, okay?" He says. "Bye Em. I love you."

"I love you, too." My lips curl up as I end the call, tucking my phone back into my pocket as I lean my head back and take in the bright sky. A small ounce of worry creeps onto my chest at the thought that the news might not be all good, but it slowly slips away as I dig my keys out and open the door to the apartment fully prepared to drown myself in a world away from here for the rest of the day.

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