Conversations ✔

Inception.

Little butterflies were her eyes, fluttering open at a very slow pace. She was fighting to wake up. She heard her own groan of discomfort before feeling her body tense up.

Every muscle was achingly stiff, she felt nothing to the waist down. Numbness.

"Nurse! Doctor! She's w-" was all she heard before somehow magically turning down the volume so she wouldn't hear it. The sound was muffled, someone was screaming near her.

Nurse? Where am I?

Why would someone be in her room while she was asleep and scream for nurses so loud?

Someone touched her arm, and she felt a prick on her inner elbow.

What the?

"That's it, take it easy." A voice said beside her, her eyes were still foggy.

What is going on?!

"Hey, hey! Calm down. Listen to me, listen to my voice. You got in an accident and you're in hospital, okay?"

What?!

She tried to say it, but her throat burnt.

"Take it easy, I have a glass of water here. It will help clear the throat, but it will take a while before you feel comfortable with using your voice." The voice said again.

She tried to turn and look who was talking. Everything was just so bright, she needed to nap.

"Here." She felt a prick by her lips and she opened her aching jaw.

Why is everything so painful?

The water felt cool against her too warm tongue, it felt swollen. Her throat cooled down, the itch faded. And she hummed at the feeling of quenching her thirst.

Why am I so thirsty? She wondered.

"Alright, that's enough." The straw was pulled away by the owner of the calm voice.

Hospital, that's where she was. But why? What happened?

"I know you have a lot of questions. But you'll have to take it easy before we bombard you with everything. Alright? However, I will briefly explain why you are here."

No, that word. The word however, this nurse...or doctor... was not allowed to use it. She wanted to tell her. Do not use that word, it isn't yours to use. It is his.

Before any more words could be said, before anything else could be done, she faded into the abyss she knew was sleep.

Tired as she felt, her mind took her to a place she had secretly created. A place so far away from this new confusion they just woke her up with. A place with no pain, no bewilderment and no bad news.

Or so she thought.

He was gone by the time she arrived. He had already moved to another city. It was months after and she hadn't heard from him, neither did she dare hurt her own feelings by reaching out to him.

The memory of his face started fading into a pixelated image. His voice became foreign and his laughter got too low for her to hear.

The more she sought him, in this little world, the more he faded away.

"No, stay."

"Why?" His smile challenged her.

"Because..."

He walked closer to her, "Go on?"

"...because I..."

He sighed, he never sighs.

"I need a reason to stay. Give me the truth." His tone was harsh, reminding her of the times she too, was harsh out of irritation.

Her eyes burned with unshed tears, "Just stay."

"No."

"It would keep me sane if you stayed! Stay!" She sobbed, to this unreal person she knew.

He didn't smile, or look like he cared. But he did say, "okay."

She was glad for the made up human being in her mind, glad for the little world she created for them.

And he told her everything  as they sat and had their lunch.

"You got in an accident." He began.

"I know."

Then he took her hand, "I may not be real. I hope I am but there is a good chance that I am not."

And again, she sighed. "I know."

His signature smile made its way to his now clear face. "If I am real, come find me. You know my name, my family, you have enough information to come find me."

This was a bad idea, she knew it.

"If you want me to, then okay." She said.

The conversations, that never happened, did happen in her mind. And that was enough.

He told her how she got in an accident. The same one she had initially thought he got in. His injuries, were hers. His fear, was hers.

She was portraying her pain into him. Seeing it from her perspective. Difference is, the quick recovery from the accident, was her wish. It was her "I should've moved out of the way."

She was badly injured, in hospital, in a three months comatose state. And as she listened to him talk, her phone was playing a very familiar song.

Sinéad Harnett featuring GRADES on If you let me. She doesn't want to be just a memory. He doesn't want him to just be a memory. The smell of his scent, she didn't want to forget.

Even their little world in her head had bad news, she figured.

It got fuzzy again, indicating that her time there was coming to an end, once more.

"You know how I feel about this right? About us? You?" He was just as panicky as she was.

She shook her head no, wishing to hear it.

But it was too late, he was gone. She was gone from him.

And when she woke up, five more minutes was what she all wanted. Just five more, because he had to say it. She needed to hear it. The world would never be the same, not after she experienced him.

Would she go searching for someone of his nature? Or should she just let it all go? Admit it was unreal, and not memories?

Were they memories? Even the ones she thought they were created in her head? Even the fake ones she dreamt of? Were they all memories?

One thing rang in her mind as movement ceased finally, Inception.

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