A Wall Between

Chapter 30

Sasha was awake bright and early for the barbeque, which wasn't helpful in the least bit because they weren't going until lunch time. Now he just had a lot of time to think about it.

It just felt so impossible to know whether everything would be fine or if it would stress him out more than expected and he'd completely lose all ability to cope and existence would become pain for some indeterminate period of time. It felt like the potential cost of everything was so high, but he also couldn't just not do anything ever.

He wished he could at least just relax and not worry about it until it was time, but even as he did his best to distract himself he felt like he was doing nothing but waiting.

Cooper knocked on the door to Sasha's room and then peaked in when, after a few seconds, Sasha didn't respond. "Ready to go?"

Sasha nodded and got up from his bed. He was wearing jeans because he didn't want the bandage on his leg to be visible. As he reached the doorway where Cooper was standing, he lifted his hand up and just barely brushed it over the top of Cooper's hair. He'd spent a little more time styling it than usual and it looked nice.

Cooper bent his head down so that Sasha could get a better look at it. "Is it okay?"

Sasha nodded and took hold of Cooper's hand. "Barbeque."

Cooper nodded. "Barbeque."

Sasha's parents were going too so they walked together, nobody commenting on Sasha and Cooper's linked hands. Sasha wondered if they'd ever talk about that or if they'd just sort of come to a silent agreement that everyone understood the situation and it didn't need to be discussed. Maybe most people would have liked their parents to say something, to affirm their support, but the idea of this going on for months or years and just never being talked about was kind of funny to Sasha.

When Joy opened the door she definitely got an eyeful of some serious hand holding, but then Cooper let go so that he could crouch down and focus his attention on calming the very excited little dog who had come to the door to greet them. Piper, Cooper had said her name was.

"She's very gentle," Cooper told Sasha. "A little excitable, but she won't bite."

Sasha nodded. She was wiggling with happiness. "Can I pat?"

While Joy greeted Sasha's parents, Sasha sat down on the floor and pet Piper and pretended he was a child who did not need to participate in social niceties.

Cooper had seemed worried the dog would scare him, and Sasha could guess why, but Piper was nothing like the dog that had bitten him. She had kind, gentle eyes. The worst thing she wanted to do to him was lick his face.

There were lawn chairs and a barbeque set up in the backyard. Joy was telling Sasha's parents about how their freshly mown grass was Cooper's doing and pointing out how nicely he'd done the edging.

George gave Sasha a pat on the shoulder. It stirred a hint of sensory shock, as being touched by a stranger always did, but Sasha knew he was just trying to be friendly. "There's drinks in the cooler if you want something."

Sasha nodded and murmured something that sounded vaguely like 'thank you.' There were beers in the cooler, but Sasha took a can of soft drink instead. He'd never tried beer, but he had decided already that he didn't like it.

Sasha found a chair that wasn't too close to everyone else so that he could rest his leg and Cooper found a ball to throw for Piper, and they played fetch with her. It helped to have something repetitive to do that took his focus away from the other humans.

Cooper got a text letting him know that Abra and Ellie had arrived, so he dashed off to let them in.

Joy took the opportunity to try to talk to Sasha. "So, Sasha, what do you do?"