all the hurtful words || merlin

chapter three: apologise

Merlin was out on the square preparing the horses as he was told to do. He's always hated hunting trips. They always lasted for two or even three days, and if there was a way he didn't want to see dead animals. That was just simply not his thing.

"Everything all right buddy?" asked a sudden voice, to which Merlin quickly turned around. A relieved smile spread on his face when he saw that it was only Gwaine.

"Sure it is" he answered, finished the last thing to do on the horse, and turned his full attention to Gwaine "I'm just not keen on hunting down innocent animals"

"It's much more than that" the man chuckled.

The warlock crossed his arms "Tell me"

Gwaine mumbled some things below his nose, but before he could start this conversation with Merlin for real, and tell him all the fun and enjoyable things to do while hunting, Arthur, Leon, Percival and Elyan arrived. Arthur smiled at Gwaine, and then turned to look at his servant.

"I hope the horses are ready, Merlin" said Arthur, and he nodded "Good. Now we do not want to lose any more time, do we?" he asked and got up on a horse "Let's go"

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The weather was great that day. The sun was shining, which brought happiness among the Knights and Merlin. They were talking and laughing almost all the way. They only went quiet when they reached the border of the deeper forest, because they didn't want to scare the animals away. From there they were walking rather in silence.

Getting an advantage from the quietness, Merlin tried to organise his thoughts. Was he angry at Arthur? A bit. Was this trip not that bad after all? No, it was not. Yet. He answered many of his questions in his mind, and still the number of the ones that didn't get one were far higher.

Soon enough, Arthur put his hand up, to make everyone stop. "Did you hear that?"

Everyone remained quiet, until the noise came back: like someone or something was moving on the bush. Arthur slowly got off the horse and moved towards the weird noise. The tension was almost so thick that Merlin could've touched it if he wanted to.

Moments later a bunny jumped out of the bush. A small sigh of relief escaped from everyone, and the Knights immediately started joking about how scared they got of a bunny.

"Thank you, oh great warrior for defending us" Merlin said to which Arthur gave him a warning look: say that again, and I'll chop you up.

"We're staying here for the night" the King announced, and everyone got off of their horses as well.

Merlin did most of the work: he tied up the horses to a tree, collected some firewood and started preparing dinner. It was all peaceful, but not really quiet: all the others were talking, laughing and occasionally picking up on Merlin, like "dinner was too salty". He didn't really pay attention to those, and just chuckled them off.

Later when the Knights have fallen asleep, he saw Arthur sitting up on his sleeping blankets, and he copied his movements.

"Go back to sleep, Merlin" he said staring at the fire, but as it was expected Merlin didn't plan to do as his told. He was looking at Arthur, worried about what could've caused his inability to sleep.

"What's the matter?" he asked, but didn't receive an answer, so he stood up and sat down next to Arthur. "You can talk to me"

Arthur had a lot on his mind. He knew Morgana had done so many harm. He knew that she became evil, and hated everything related to him from the deepest point of her heart..but he just couldn't remove the memory of her dying from his mind.

"I don't need to talk" he answered a few moments later "I need peace and quiet. Please..leave me alone" he asked his servant not even looking at him.

"I'm your friend, and I can see that you need help. You don't need to do everything on your own"

"I don't need help. And even if I did, not from you" Arthur whispered with fury that Merlin would not let this go. He did not mean to sounds so rude to the boy, and all that wasn't meant for him to hear but with all the frustration, he couldn't hold himself.

Merlin did not say anything for minutes after that. The young warlock dug himself into his thoughts, when he suddenly stood up and without even looking at Arthur he opened his mouth.

"I really hope you didn't mean that, because once I won't be standing by your side when you'll need me the most" he said with a raspy voice, and turned his back on the King "I'll go collect some firewood"

Arthur wanted to say  something but Merlin was already gone. He wanted to apologise, but he had no idea how to. His idea was that until the boy comes back, he'll figure out a way to make this up to his servant.

Along with this, Merlin was wandering around, carrying a few sticks of wood in his hands. He had so much on his mind, he didn't even notice how far he had gone from their little camp. He could no longer hear the snoring of the Knights, just his troubling thoughts and heavy breathing.He was rather angry than sad. After all he had done for Arthur, after all those sacrifices he still doesn't claim him as his fr-

"A young boy like you shouldn't be wandering around in the forest alone. Especially at night"

Merlin turned around to the voice. He was so shocked that he dropped the wood frim his hands. He couldn't see the person talking so he just kept looking around.

"Who is it?" he asked and focused really hard on his voice not to shake or sound weak.

The voice just laughed.

"You really don't recognise me? " it asked. It was a mans voice for sure, but who-

"Don't act stupid, Merlin" 

The man stepped out from the shadows of a tree. Merlins eyes were filled with fear.

"Mordred- how..I..we thought you were dead-"

The druid boy smirked "That's what you thought of Arthur as well" he spat his name like it was poison.

To the hurtful memory Merlin got now angry. He held up his hands, ready to make sure, Mordred will remain dead this time, but he suddenly felt a sharp and sudden pain in his torso, so he looked down. There was an arrow sticking out of his body.

Mordred lowered the bow he was holding, and tossed it away. The servant had no idea how could he get one so quickly.

"I wish there were any other ways to take my revenge on him, but it's not easy you know.." Mordred said and watched Merlin fall to his knees "It's hard to break Arthur Pendragon, since he does not care for his life" the druid leaned over to the warlock "but for his mans life, on the other hand, especially for his beloved manservant.."  his smiled faded into a maniac grin, and he disappeared as suddenly as he appeared.

Merin was on his knees, with his hands covering the wound on his side. He knew, he could not pull out the arrow, because it was blocking most of the bleeding, so there was only one thing to do: he had to get back to Gaius. The pain as he stood up was terrible. Black dots were dancing in front of his eyes, and he had to bend a little over to be able to walk. Luckly he knew the way back to the camp: he had been to this forest more times than he could count. He could feel the cold sweat running down from his head, as it was really strenuous for him to move. When he finally reached the border of their camp his vision was all blurry, but he could still recognise Arthurs shape. His body was about to give up: his knees were shaking so much that they were unable to hold Merlin's weight, breathing was hard after all that walking, and his eyelids felt really heavy. The last thing he could remember was someone calling his name, before collapsing, and all he could see was complete darkness.