willing

three

My ears were ringing.
My vision wasn't the clearest.
My entire head ached.

But I was driving well over the speed limit to get to the hospital, listening to Dylan cry on the phone as Lily sobbed in her car seat.

"Baby- I swear- I didn't think she'd move" Dylan cried into the phone, I ignored.

I pulled straight into the ambulance bay at the hospital, hanging my phone up and full blown sprinting into the ER with Lily in my arms.

"Help me- help me" I cried out, a doctor immediately coming to me.

"What's going on?" He asked me, taking Lily out of my arms, setting her onto a gurney that was given to him.

"She fell off of my kitchen counter- I think she hit her head" I cried towards him, ignoring my own pain.

I followed as he ran off with her, yelling orders to other people.

Lily continued to scream my name, reaching for me.
I held her as closely as I could to me, promising her that I wasn't going to leave her- and I meant that.

"Hey- hey" the doctor spoke calmly, looking towards lily.

"What's your name, pretty girl" he asked her, wiping her tears.

"Liliana" she spoke quietly.

"What a pretty name- my name is Michael, I'm going to make you feel better, okay? Can you tell me what hurts?" He asked, making her look to me immediately.

"I no hurt" she spoke quickly- no longer making tears, no longer screaming.

We both stared to her.

"Lily, nothing hurts?" I whispered to her.

"You hurt" she spoke towards me, silently touching my head, making me jerk away from her hand- the touch causing pain.

"She did fall, she was crying- I just don't-" I tried explaining to the doctor who seemed more than sympathetic.

"We'll get her an MRI to be safe, make sure that she isn't in shock and just not feeling the pain" he nodded towards me, immediately repeating the same to a nurse.

I exhaled, feeling a familiar lump in my throat.

"So I'm going to go ahead and take her up- mom, you just have to stay here, it shouldn't take longer than fifteen minutes" he spoke calmly to me.

Michael.

I looked to her as she pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Where's the restroom?" She asked- not acknowledging anything I had just said.

"It's right down the hall to the-"

She suddenly turned, thankfully grabbing a throw up bucket, pucking straight into it.

"Gross, mommy" Liliana almost whispered.

I immediately paged Luke, having no clue exactly what was going on here as I immediately comforted her, guiding her to sit in a chair, where she immediately focused back to Liliana.

"But yeah- she hit her head, falling from sitting on the cabinet" she spoke, making me crouch to her sitting height.

"Yeah- we said that" I spoke calmly, trying to figure this out.

Was she drinking?

I didn't think so, she almost seemed too young to buy alcohol, but I also wasn't sure because she was the mother of this child.

Just in shock maybe?

She seemed well too awake of what happened to be in shock, things wouldn't make as much sense.

"I'm sorry- I just, can't focus" she spoke, running her fingers through her hair, moving most of it off of her face, where I immediately saw- what looked like a fresh bruise, still holding a red tint as purple and blue tones were breaking through the surface.

"What happened here?" I asked her quietly, making her fingers gently touch the exact spot.

"Oh that-"

"You paged?"