Petunia and the Little Monster

April, 1972

The numbness didn't want to let Petunia escape its icy grasp. It had seeped into her limbs, into her thoughts, into her mind like viscous, colourless syrup. Petunia almost thought it was dripping from her fingers, staining everything around her.

She didn't feel any resentment when she looked at Lily or poked at the lavish breakfast her mother had prepared as a goodbye for her magical daughter. She didn't feel annoyed when she met the suspicious, onyx-black eyes of Severus who was once again shoved into their care by his scarecrow-like mother.

She didn't feel a shot of excitement when she stepped through what should have been a solid wall, the coarse bricks brushing over her skin like a breeze. She didn't feel out of place when she found herself the centre of a whirl of magical children and equally magical parents, black cloaks, cages with animals and trunks of all sizes blocking her path.

She just felt nothing. Even when she spotted a head of bright golden curls among the swirling chaos.

And then that head turned while warm, brown eyes met her own over the distance between them and from one inhale to the next everything came crashing back. Swallowed by a wave of resentment, annoyance and denial Petunia almost staggered back, a crushing sadness penetrating deeper than any of the other emotions.

One last time, she reminded herself. She was here to make a clean cut, so it wouldn't get infected and fester and pain her for months to come.

Today she would kill her illusions - by using Lily.

"Eugene."

She didn't even realise he had said his name out loud when Lily suddenly perked up, standing on tiptoes to look at whatever had caught her older sisters' attention.

"Oh, you're right, that's him! The boy I told you about!" she declared, stepping next to Petunia. Their mother had fallen back a bit, recognizing one of the other parents in the crowd but Severus hovered behind Lily like a tall and thin shadow. His hooded eyes followed theirs but Petunia couldn't decide if they were apathetic or already resentful of whomever had caught Lily's interest. She couldn't really bring herself to care about him either.

Instead all her attention was focused on the bobbing head of sunshine curls, making his way towards her - towards them - through the crowd. It parted around him easily and a small part of Petunia wondered what it was about Eugene that just commanded attention, even when he wasn't the tallest or oldest of the students scurrying all around them. But no-one bumped into him or blocked his path and then her reprieve was over and he was standing right in front of her, smiling that too-wide smile that stretched the corner of his lips and was uniquely him.

"Petals! It's been a while. No enthusiastic greeting this time?"

"There was no such thing last time," Petunia retorted but the words burned when they passed her lips. When will he notice Lily? When will he ask about her?

"I must remember wrong, then," he easily agreed though his grin belied his words. "You throwing yourself in my arms, I mean."

Lily gasped - likely out of astonishment at the teasing note in his voice while a boy was addressing her prudish, boring and snappish older sister - and it happened. Eugene looked over, looked at her.

He took in her shining hair, her jewel-like big eyes and finally the Hogwarts suitcase clutched in her petite hands. And even though Petunia had been expecting it, even though she thought she was prepared, something inside her curled into a burning lump regardless while he looked. The longer his gaze lingered on Lily the tighter the lump clenched in her chest, becoming more unbearable by the second.

"Hey, so I guessed right. You two do know each other."

Lily must have felt a bit out of her depth because she fell back onto the safety of manners. "My name is Lily, I'm a first year and Petunia's my sister."