In Denial | Completed

The first time they talked

For a second, they just stared at each other and Vanessa felt herself set back to the day of their first meeting.

But the silence didn't last long. Vann took one step forward, stopped and breathed in – she felt an anticipation for his first words that he would actually direct toward her.

"Are you okay?"

Then she remembered how she must have looked like at that moment. She was soaking wet and had been crying, not to forget. Her run down mascara was probably making her look like a racoon.

When she didn't answer, he tried again.

"Vanessa? What happened?"

She felt goosebumps on her entire body when he said her name and she held back a shudder. She didn't question how he knew her name. After all, she had picked up his name sometime over the last year, too.  

This time when he asked, she didn't let herself wait too long to answer. She shortly pondered if she should just lie, but she couldn't find any good reason why she actually shouldn't tell him the truth.

"I can't find my key," she answered then with a shaking voice.

He looked at her questioningly and she took that as a sign to elaborate.

"I must've lost it sometime today and now I can't get to my room," quietly she added, "and I don't know what to do."

She felt pathetic, sitting here like a little lost kid. She didn't want his help that she knew he would be offering. But at the same time, well, like she said, she didn't know what to do.

"And the campus is already closed for the day," Vann concluded in an emotionless manner and it bugged her that she couldn't make out what he was thinking.

So, she just nodded and looked at her hands in her lap. She could never look into his eyes for too long or she would lose herself in them.

"You know," he said and she held her breath for the next part, "if you want, I – I have a couch in my room."

She couldn't stop herself from looking at him then. It was dark but she could still see him blushing a little bit from where she was sitting. She bit her tongue from how adorable that was.

"Or, you know, I could drive you somewhere," he said, while scratching his neck nervously.

She briefly thought about asking him to drive her to Riley, but that meant he would have to drive two hours just for her. He looked tired as it was and she couldn't bring herself to ask that from him. Because he probably would do it.

But staying in his room sounded like an equally bad idea. They would talk on the way there. And he would offer for her to take a shower in his bathroom. She would hear him breathe the whole night.

She wanted to jump at the chance.

But Vanessa was afraid that would change their entire dynamic and she didn't want that.

She didn't.

Was there any other possibility, though? She couldn't spend the rest of the night on these stairs, either. And Vann expected an answer.

"Maybe staying in your room would be nice."

She couldn't believe she had actually just said that and judging by Vann's little intake of breath, he couldn't either. She felt herself blushing – hard.

When after a few seconds she still couldn't look at him, he cleared his throat.
"That's totally fine with me."

She knew he just wanted to make her feel better. Even worse was that he actually succeeded. But only, because he had sounded sincere, she told herself.