ROSES OF THE PAST : BOOK 2 | JURASSIC WORLD DOMINION

II : Agonizing Petals

In the shadows of the forest, Indoraptor walked along, relying on his natural senses to find Blue. She was around somewhere, he knew it. He could sense her. After all this time of longing for her, they were finally so close together, but so far apart at the same time. It felt terrible and punched a hole in his heart whenever Blue ignored him, despite her sensing he was there. Somehow.
All caught up in his thoughts of his beloved, Indoraptor had gotten to hopeful and excited to see her, he tripped over a stone and tumbled down clumsily, feeling silly and foolish that such a powerful creature like him tripped so easily. A flash of pain went through him, then faded.
Wait.
That wasn't right.
How could he feel pain? He was dead. He could fade in and out of places. But Indoraptor remembered he could move things. He could interact with the world, and it could interact with him in return. Am I even dead? It doesn't feel like it. I feel.. like I'm living, but in the worst way.

Indoraptor let himself rest for a moment, letting himself think. A sharp pain stung the inside of his chest suddenly. Then it had left as quick as it came. Then suddenly, the air around him began to close as his chest twisted and he strained for breath. Indoraptor nearly collapsed as his legs gave out beneath him. It was all so sudden and.. prickly. He had never felt anything so painful in his life, even though it was so short. He couldn't breathe. Indoraptor gasped desperately, his jaws hanging open as he struggled for air.
What is happening?! He screamed inwardly. His heart seemed to even hurt. It was aching. In fact, his entire chest was. Help me, he begged nobody in particular, just desperately yelling his pleas into the world. He could feel something rising his throat painfully, feeling as if it was full of ragged thorns. He choked violently, his eyes beginning to water.
He coughed and coughed, hanging his head.
Finally, when Indoraptor thought there was no hope, it finally fell out of him. A petal flitted down to the ground, followed by a flower stained by blood and wrapped in a thorny stem.

He gasped and gulped in air, drinking it in like it was precious and sacred. His breath was heavy, quick, and ragged and his eyes began to droop. He felt dizzy. Then it came again. Even more violent, except it was passed quicker. This time, dozens of petals fell onto the ground gracefully. Two flowers followed. And not to metion, a thick wad of blood and gross bits of his insides. Then, Indoraptor's amber gaze rolled over to white, and he passed out into a shallow, still world of darkness.

--

When he awoke, the morning light of dawn was cracking through the clouds above him. He squinted and rolled over to his side, avoiding the sudden light after his dark rest. He breathed deeply, taking in the crisp air. Something moving at the edge of his vision caught his attention. He perked his head up, curious. And with a jolt that knocked a breath of of his chest and gave a burning ache in his heart, he recognized her.
It was her. Her. The one who taught him everything about his miserable life and had given him the feeling of being alive.
And her terribly familiar gaze was fixed right on him. Now he was thrown back into his pit of anguish. He was so clearly aware of how bad he relied on her. He didn't feel worthy without her. He felt unworthy. He didn't know who he was.

"Indoraptor."

Something snapped inside of his head. Inhaling sharply as his chest began to close up, he finally felt something. That was it. He finally remembered his name, his only purpose. His only source of love and true, real emotion. Indoraptor. It had never sounded right whenever he thought of it as his name, but it did when Blue said it.

Indoraptor could feel the painful ache inside of his chest. His love pulled himself towards her, pressing his head against the crook of her feathery neck. A choking sob rose in Indoraptor's throat. He felt real. But was he? He couldn't tell. "Blue," he croaked, his voice barely a whisper. Although her eyes were cold when she looked at him, Indoraptor didn't care. "Blue, please tell me," he choked out. "Is this real? Are you really here? Am I real?"
Blue didn't respond for a painfully unbearable time. Then finally she spoke, her voice tense and strained with something so complicated that Indoraptor couldn't decipher. "This is real. I don't know how, but it is," she answered, staring away from him, a distant look in her comforting amber eyes. "I wish it wasn't."

Indoraptor pulled away slowly, tipping his head to meet her gaze. "What do you mean by that?" He let out in a choked, broken whisper. Blue slowly met his eyes, such a torn emotion in just her seemingly blank expression made him flinch. "I wish we never even met, Indoraptor," she hissed. "I wish I never felt anything for you. But here we are, in this mess that we are ourselves."

He tried to stifle his choking cry, but it escaped before he could push it down back to his hurting heart. "But... I-" he broke off as his voice gave way. Indoraptor stared at her, mystified. He didn't know what to say. And he especially didn't know what to say that wasn't going to end in an argument. "But I love you," he forced the tough words out of his throat, which felt as though it was closing up. Blue dropped her head low, squeezing her eyes shut. Indoraptor could see the struggle in her expression, a furrow between her eyes. He kept quiet, his gaze still fixated on her, awaiting anything from her that could make up a response. "I do too, Indoraptor," she said quietly after a while, taking a breath as she raised her head and met his gaze. "I love you and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to love you. I want my old freedom, and you're keeping me trapped. But I love you and it hurts to leave you."

Blue went silent and her gaze dropped to the ground beneath them, not saying anything else. Indoraptor kept silent too, not daring to say anything. He didn't trust himself. He didn't even trust himself to speak his feelings. He was worried how she would react if he did. If the last bit of hope they had between each other broke, she would leave him behind and he would never have anyone else. He couldn't risk it. He couldn't risk them.

Indoraptor sadly watched Blue walk away, taking his lonely heart with her. He fell to the ground, his legs suddenly unable to support him. Then Indoraptor felt the strangling feeling again, spreading to the bottom of his chest, all the way up to his throat. Something was inside of him. Growing. Spreading. Infectious and malicious, it fed off his misery and took his strength and ripped out his insides, ever so slowly, as the flowers fell from his gaping, crimson soaked jaws. Blood coated the roses that lay on the ground, below the creature that crouched in agony, gasping and struggling for breath. His vision was starting to become fuzzy and dark spots appeared wherever he fixated onto. Wheezing, gasping, the last amount of strength he had left his body and he collapsed into the puddle of his own sticky, thick, warm blood. A sharp pain pounded in his head, impossible to ignore. Indoraptor's jaw hung open slightly as a rush of blood trickled down into the puddle, landing with a solid plunk.

He couldn't hear anything as ringing began to sing in his ears, lasting for so long that he grew used to it. Then he gradually left consiousness, his breathing becoming more shallow as his eyes began to glaze over to white.

--

Empty. He didn't know how else to feel. He wasn't even sure he knew how he could feel. All alone in this desolate world, he was a freak. The only one who could see him was the love of his life, except she wanted nothing to do with an awful creature like him. He didn't even remember his name. All he knew was that he was a monster. A freak. Something that didn't even know how to live. That is, when he was alive- well, fully alive. He didn't even know where he was, or how he was both dead and alive. He was on a different plane of existence. A whole different spectrum, not supposed to be here, but he sure was.

The creature sat alone in the loud yet silent woods. His hollow eyes watched as a dragonfly flitted past him, into the bush. He sat, waiting. Waiting for the only one who made his life worth something.
But she never came.