So Sweet a Changeling: A Novel of the Terribly Acronymed Detective Club (Book 6)

Chapter Fifteen: Johnny, Wednesday

Why had they chosen to have an open casket? Dad had looked like someone from Madame Tussaud's. The embalming process had turned him into a wax figure. In all the preparation for the funeral, Johnny must have abdicated decision-making authority about that kind of thing to Val, who must have decided for them. Or maybe Mom had wanted it; being old-school and a veteran of many a funeral, maybe she'd wanted one last opportunity to say goodbye to the man, not the coffin. 

They'd had the night before for goodbyes too, there in Holy Spirit, saying their prayers while looking on the waxen face of their father who, oddly, had looked more like the man in that passport photo than he'd looked in his final years of life. Maybe having all your empty spaces pumped full of preservatives made you look younger and fuller.

The church last night had been empty except for the family. Lauren, Tosh and Naomi had shown up this time, and Lauren had predictably looked as if she'd rather be anywhere but there, even if it was the church in which she and Joe had gotten married. Not that Johnny could blame her. Sitting vigil in an empty, dark church wasn't on his list of desirable activities on a Tuesday night. He would have preferred finding some happiness in Melody's embrace, especially after he'd discovered Val had been out Monday night, where, neither of his sons could tell him, because she hadn't been forthcoming, explaining, "You two are grown men, and you don't tell me where you go all the time, so why should I?"

Vic and Tilly weren't fools, even though they might have been man-boys. They could put two and two together: Johnny's continued residency in his mother's house plus their mother's sudden need to go out without telling anybody equalled a marriage on the rocks, and he could see the worry in their eyes even now, though neither of them had dared admit their suspicions yet.

It was a good thing Mom was too far gone to notice the marital discord brewing in front of her eyes. Johnny might have been a terrible son for thinking it, but he preferred her this way, her nose finally out of everyone else's business because she was focused more on her own grief for once. For example, she hadn't even spotted Joanie Mara at the edge of the circle of mourners, dressed in a black pant suit and with her fiery red hair pulled back in a sensible bun, trying not to stand out even though her height would make her noticeable anywhere. Johnny didn't even know if Joe had noticed her, though. She must have come directly to the cemetery. Coming to the mass would have been a bridge too far, probably. 

Of course Mom knew about her and Joe, and of course she was furious about it; not on Lauren's behalf, of course, for when had she ever taken Lauren's side on anything? (her behaviour following Lauren's two miscarriages still filled Johnny with indignation even now, all these years later). No, her fury was on behalf of Joe's eternal soul, now in peril because of the mortal sin of adultery. 

Having all her children up in Heaven with her had always been Mom's goal, as she'd reminded them constantly in their years growing up, and certain pleasurable things, according to her faith, kept the soul from ascending into heaven. Premarital sex was one of them, thus her enmity for Lauren, except Johnny and Val had engaged in plenty before they'd gotten married, and Mom had never raked Val over the coals. Johnny had a suspicion there was a little bit of racism involved in Mom's disapproval of Lauren, that and religious bigotry against the atheist in their midst.

Her enmity for Joanie stemmed from her fear that adultery would also keep her boy out of Heaven (assuming that being with their mother for eternity was something her boys even wanted... no, that wasn't kind). Good God, if Mom ever got an inkling about what Lauren had gotten up to with the other men in their friend group, she'd be calling in an exorcist. 

Johnny wondered if Mom was worried about her late husband's eternal soul. Was she wondering if he'd ever confessed to his own sins with Mrs. Anderson before he passed away? She might find herself quite lonely up there, among the choir of angels, if the rest of them were sinning as badly as she imagined.