Macie's Story

18

(March 2nd, 47 days old)

"Is she still struggling?" Jay asks as he pulls the door closed again on his way back in and he watches Hailey hang her head.

"Yes and I can't figure out how to help her." She sighs.

The day after they were able to feed Macie her first bottle, the breast pump Hailey had ordered arrived and she started doing as the nurse had told her when they spoke. For the last week she had been pumping every three hours, day and night, and she was doing everything in her power to be able to induce lactation - she had looked into and bought some herbal supplements to help with milk production, now had a full bladder more than she did when she was pregnant, and had a strict routine she followed throughout the day to make sure was getting enough sleep even around the pumping sessions, and after a few days of nothing, she started to see some results.

"There's milk!" Hailey had exclaimed as she walked through the bedroom door and despite the fact her voice wasn't any louder than normal, it was a vast contrast to the middle of the night silence and it woke Jay up with a small startle.

"What?" He hummed as he sat up, looking around the room quickly before meeting Hailey's gaze. Even in the dark of the room, he could make out the glimmer in her eyes and the smile on her face.

She made her way to her side of the bed and sat on her knees on top of the mattress, showing off the small bottle in her hands. It takes a moment for Jay's eyes to adjust but he feels himself smile tiredly at the small ring of milk at the bottom of the bottle.

Hailey turns her head to one side. "It's not a lot, I know, and it's not gonna feed her for a while, but this means I can do it, I can actually do this!"

It took a few more days for that small ring of milk at the bottom to become something even remotely close to something that could be used and it would take five or six pumping sessions to have enough ounces to even fill half a bottle but by the end of the week she was actually producing milk.

The one thing she was struggling with however was getting Macie to latch on. The infant had made strides with the bottles in the last week, now taking it with only a few episodes of apnea during it and she was starting to be able to drink more of it too before she became full. Yet she really couldn't figure out how to work breastfeeding.

Hailey was really trying not to stress herself over it, because that was only going to make Macie stressed about it too, but it was impossible not to when Mae would start getting frustrated over having a hard time.

"This is supposed to be calming for her but look at her, Jay, this is the very opposite of calm for her."

Jay stepped over to the recliner and squatted down beside the arm of the chair, raising his hand up and placing it on the top of Macie's head. "She'll get there, Hails, like she did with the bottle. She'll get there."

Hailey slowly throws her head back against the headrest of the recliner as she feels Macie start to squirm in her arms, one of the first signs the infant was getting annoyed. The detective nods and takes a deep breath. "I know, I know, we've just gotta help her, encourage her to take it."

"Do you want me to get Isla?" He asks.

She shakes her head quickly. "No, we can't rely on her all the time. We're not gonna have the help of the nurses when we take her home so we've gotta start figuring out the stuff together, and besides I'm her mom, I can figure out how to do this."

"Hailey, we can still use the nurses while we're here, that's one of the reasons they are here."

"I know, but I can do this, I can figure this out." She says as she sits her head back up again, looking down at Macie and she feels herself sigh at the frown growing on her daughter's face.