WITH THINGS WE CAN'T HAVE

CHAPTER ONE

THE BEGINNING.

It wasn't like I hated my best friend's brother, it was the fact that he had something against me for some unknown reasons.

I,   Lilian Delarosa Fitzgerald don't take the time out of my days to hate anyone, however,  Victor Orion James was the most unbelievable person in the world. 

He was the one to always say something,  to do something,  anything that would get a reaction out of me!  And what made me crazy was that no matter what he'd do Kendall never saw a thing.

God I loved my best friend but at times she could be ditzy blonde and as long as I had known Kendall James she was never one to read into detail which at times was a great thing for me.

But not when it came to the bullying,  her older brother loved to do.

I remembered the day we had written the best friend's book of dos and don'ts... like it was yesterday, The first and most important one was placed mainly because of Kendall but it was coming back to bite me now.

1. Each other's siblings were off-limits.  
2. Always have one another's back.
3. Be kind and understanding.
4. Grow old together.
5. Stay in contact no matter what!

Of course, there were more rules and regulations but those were the most important ones.

Me and Kendall had written them in my backyard under the stars the summer after eighth grade.

We were so overdramatizing,  that we even blood promised one another... which yes,  was way too much for someone else for us it was an everyday thing.

The first rule however was placed because of Kendall.

I can recall a time were Kendall had the biggest crush on my older sister.  I found it odd and annoying, so I stupidly suggested we put rules in place due to her obsession.   Which she had later outgrew, I think but thinking back now I felt guilty for making my best friend suffer silently.

That was terrible of me...

Not to fear,  karma had her back though it was fair, In all honesty, I was still angry,  sort with myself because, in the end, I stated it all.  But that had been a few years back and we were all adults now.

So should I still feel this way? I mean at first, I didn't want anything to do with Victor,  his constant attitude and teasing pushed me away but with time grew feelings... on my part not his. 

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I twisted my hair around my finger trying to figure out why those memories came back out of all time,  why now? I had been away from home for a while so shouldn't those feelings vanish? I knew it was foolish to think that but with being away for so long I figured that whatever I felt would have eventually become nothing more than my childhood crush.

My mother said that feelings stay with you til death... I just hoped that wasn't at all true.

I just needed to focus on my future first! 

College was something I couldn't afford to flunk. Because I needed to start making money,  more than what a fast food job could offer.

I had been ahead of everything,  and I had taken up extra classes,  anything really,  to get closer to graduating early.

Which was working because come fall I'll be a college graduate from Cornell University.   Any normal person would be stoked right? Not me, I was so anxious, oh so very,  anxious as always about everything coming my way.