To catch a dream

03

I hate Sundays.

Out of the days of the week, I hate the day that began the week. A lot of stress comes right after that day. Senior year starts tomorrow and I am not ready to face the reality of school.

"Hey," Bexley's head pops from my door. "Good you're awake, I made some hangover soup so have some. Mum and Dad left early for a golf match and I'm going out with Priya, do you need anything from the store?"

"Just some aspirin, please. My head is about to fall off."

"Sure," She shuts the door.

I sigh and rub my head. The drugs and alcohol have had a huge effect on me and I can barely think straight. I manage to get up and make my way to the bathroom. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My eyes are still red from last night.  I rub them and yawn not even affected by how hideous I look right now.

The soup Bexley made is perfect to wake me up. I settle down on the couch and put on my favorite murder documentary as I enjoy the soup.

People find it weird that I enjoy watching stuff like this. But am I the only one who finds them entertaining and helpful... I mean now I know that I should never trust my husband's co-worker to fix my leaking tap cause you never know who's a psychotic killer.

While I am in the most suspenseful part of the documentary a loud knock on the door disrupts me and I fling slightly.

"What the actual fuck," I gasp and my hand flies to my chest. I slowly drop the now-empty bowl on the table and make my way to the door. A person banging on the door while I'm watching a murder documentary isn't what I need right now.

"Who's there?" My lips quiver.

"Noah!"

I hiss and roll my eyes.

"Go away Noah," I say.

"Come on baby let me in. Please let's talk."

This was the first time he had apologized in less than twenty-four hours. I mean he also did apologize last night. I run my hands through my now faded dye rose gold hair and bite my bottom lips. 

Noah hurts me way too much and it drains me every fucking time. But it also drains me when I'm away from him. He's my first love but he also hurts me the most. We are not good for each other.

Both options hurt, I have to choose the option that at least comes with benefits.

"Belle darling, please," He says again more softly and my heart melts.

I blink fast to stop the tears from dropping. I can feel my eyes welling up. I sniff and unlock the door. He immediately pulls me into a hug.

"Stop Noah," I say but do not attempt to push him away.

"I'm sorry for everything Belle..... Please take me back," He mumbles into my ear and caresses my back softly.

The tears drop and I take in a deep shaky breath. "You're a liar, you always say this but never change. You can't keep hurting me like this. It's draining me, Noah, it's fucking draining me. I can't keep on letting you hurt me like this," I cry and push him away.

Then he holds my hand again and I see the tears in his eyes. It breaks my heart to see tears in his eyes. Yes, I am still very much in love with him... Sadly.

"Babe, please just one last chance I promise not to fuck us up. I can't live without you. I'll do anything you want just come back to me," He breathes and holds my hands between his.

We both look at each other with tears in our eyes and I wonder why love hurts so much. Why can't it just be like a fairytale, our childhood made it seem like love was a happy thing well that's fucking bullshit. Love hurts..... It hurts a lot.