PRIDE » Zarry ✅

11: Sights Too High

"So let's talk about kids." I heard from across the table.

My eyes grew big over the glass of wine I was drinking.

"Excuse me?"

"We have to talk about it. We're dating to see if we're compatible enough to be married. And if we do get married and one of us wants children it would be with each other. So we need to discuss it."

I slowly sat my glass down. Kallie was right. But I didn't want to accidentally say the right thing.

"Um... okay. You brought it up. How do you feel about children?"

"I think I would want them."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Babies are adorable. Imagine having one of your own. If I decided to have children, I'm thinking... a couple. I mean I'm not necessarily waiting to have them but... if we were to get married, I don't mind it if it should come to that. I love children."

I sighed out loud for her benefit but I was so happy in my head. Because she answered first, I knew the direction I wanted to take my answer.

"Well that is... too bad, I think."

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't want kids."

"Really?"

"Really. Not one."

"Why?"

"I don't have the patience for those little crumb snatchers."

I studied her reaction. She looked mildly horrified. But she also looked as if she didn't believe me.

Suddenly she burst into laughter.

"Okay. You got me. That's funny."

"What do you mean?"

She stopped laughing.

"Wait. You're serious?"

"I am."

Now she was just plain confused.

"But why? You don't like kids?"

"Of course I do. When they're someone else's. But my own?"

I gave her the throat cut signal.

"I'm sorry but it just feels like a lot of work which I'm not nor do I think I will ever be prepared to do."

She sat back in her chair as if she was thinking. Then she nodded.

"Okay... well like I said. I'm open to it if you want. But it's not something I feel that I need. Not having children also isn't a deal breaker despite how many grandchildren my father wants. So we'll just see how everything else goes and measure it all together in time."

"Okay." I said.

Now she picked up her glass to drink. I cursed myself silently. I knew I didn't really hate kids but maybe I should have went further and called them more than crumb snatchers. I just didn't want to horrify her too much. I was already lying to her. Adding child-hater to my reputation wasn't exactly the direction I was going for.

🌈 🌈 🌈

Ever since I moved into my own home, I hardly ever saw my mother anymore. I spoke to her on the phone at times. But seeing her in person wasn't something I did much of. So one particular day, I decided to change that and go see her.

She was excited when she opened the door and saw me.

"You know you don't have to knock." She told me.