BEFORE

Chapter 5

JESS

"Drink this." Chantal thrust a brandy at me. "It'll settle your nerves."

"I'm not nervous, I'm freaking furious." I took the drink and downed it in three gulps, coughing and spluttering as it burned my throat.

"That's why you should agree to my plan." Chantal made a scissor action with her fingers. "Castration is the only answer for slimy bastards like that."

"I'm actually angry at myself."

And I was. Downright livid, that I'd put myself in the position to be raped. I should've been more tuned to the vibes Dave had been giving off, should've been more savvy than to enter a bedroom, albeit with a friend.

Mom always said I was too naive. Having to admit she was right stung almost as much as me misjudging Dave.

"You did nothing wrong," Chantal said, curling up on the sofa next to me. "Don't blame yourself."

"That's the thing. I do." My voice came out soft and pathetically needy. "I'm clueless when it comes to guys."

"How so?" Chantal glanced away, like she couldn't look me in the eye and lie. Because the fact was, we'd both grown up in Craye Canyon. Small town life with a small town mentality. I'd been a goody-two-shoes, trying my best to be the opposite of Mom. Chantal knew this. She'd teased me about it.

Lucky for my brazen cousin, she'd never cared what anyone thought of her and had fled town as soon as she turned eighteen. Now, four years later, here we both were. One of us was a stunning blonde dancer who enticed men for a living. The other one was a dweeby, good girl who hadn't got to first base with a guy.

"I don't flirt, I don't date, I don't have any freaking idea when a guy likes me or not," I said, grabbing the nearest cushion and hugging it to my chest. "That's why I wonder if I kinda brought this on myself."

Chantal punched me on the arm. "You're invoking the defense of every rapist on the planet. 'She asked for it.' Or 'she dressed like a slut so she deserved it.'" Chantal shook her head. "It doesn't work that way."

"I know, but..." Dave's accusations echoed in my head. Had I inadvertently led him on?

"But what?"

"He said a bunch of stuff—"

"That tried to lay the blame on you, right?" Chantal snorted. "Forget it, sweetie. None of this was your fault."

Chantal's cell beeped and she hesitated before picking it up.

"Go ahead." It would give me more time to ponder what the hell I was going to do.

I didn't want to throw my virginity away on some lowlife, but I wasn't holding out for the fabled knight in shining armor either. One thing I did know. Until I had sex for the first time, Dave's 'frigid bitch' and 'cockteaser' would haunt me.

"That was Reid," Chantal said, waving the cell at me. "He's coming over."

I sat bolt upright. "You didn't tell him anything?"

Chantal rolled her eyes. "Relax, I'm not a complete moron. I know your bro's overprotective. He'd probably bash that bastard's brains out and lose his fast track to the senate."

So true, and the major reason I'd already decided not to tell Reid about this. I loved my sole sibling dearly but since our dad ran out on us when he was seven Reid took his man of the house responsibilities very seriously.

"Then what's he doing in Vegas?"

"To see you, apparently." Chantal shrugged. "He said he'd been to your dorm, you weren't there, so he checked in here to see if I'd seen you."