BEFORE

Chapter 23

JESS

I made it halfway to the homestead when the chills set in.

Not from being saturated, but from the realization that the last time I'd see Jack alone before I left was that confrontation where I'd acted like a lunatic.

The fact he'd kissed me, when he'd gone to great lengths over the last four weeks not to, meant he cared. And while I wasn't stupid enough to believe in long distance relationships, the fact he'd become good friends with Reid meant the guys would stay in touch. So who knew what the future held?

But for us to have any chance, even maintaining a friendship, I had to go back.

I had to behave like a rational, mature woman, not a slighted almost-nineteen year old that threw a tantrum when she didn't get what she wanted.

Because that's how I'd pretty much behaved during my entire stay. Pushing him. Taunting him. Abusing him when he didn't reciprocate the way I wanted. Then ignoring him.

And I sure as hell didn't want his last memory of me to be a screaming banshee who shoved him away.

So I turned around and headed back.

The rain hadn't eased. It poured down in diagonal sheets, soaking everything in its path. I dragged my feet through the mud, clueless as to what I'd say when I reached the shack. The spontaneity thing hadn't worked so well for me with Jack up to this point.

As the shack came into sight, the rain eased and the sun poked out from behind a cloud, making the grungy corrugated iron almost gleam.

The place looked welcoming, despite its forlorn exterior. And even now, I'd give anything to stay.

That's what I'd tell him.

The truth.

It was as easy as that. No use trying to make excuses for my behavior. I'd tell him exactly how I felt. I'd already behaved like an idiot. What did I have to lose?

I skipped up the steps, knocked twice, before turning the doorknob and flinging the door open.

Jack, in the process of scrolling through his iPod, gaped at me.

"I had to come back. I'm sorry for before. For behaving like a spoilt brat these last few weeks." I pressed my hands to my chest. Yeah, like that would stop my heart from leaping out. "The truth is I've fallen in love with you. And I'd give up everything to stay with you if you asked me."

I blurted it all out in a rush, the words tumbling over each other. I had to say it fast because if I didn't, I'd second-guess the wisdom of handing him my heart on a platter with one hand and a knife in the other.

Jack stared at me, his eyes like steely lasers, boring into me, cutting deep.

He didn't make a move toward me. He didn't smile. He didn't hold out his arms.

And I knew the devastating truth before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Jess, you're a teenager. You'll fall in love many times before you find the right guy." He squared his shoulders and shook his head. "You have a crush and it's naive to build it up into anything more than that."

I began to shake as shock set in and rather than rush over to comfort me, Jack thrust his hands into his pockets. He faltered, his stoic expression crumpling a little as he half pulled out a folded piece of paper.

He stared at it for a few, interminable seconds before finally dragging his gaze away to look me in the eye.

"Bye, Jess. I hope you find what you're looking for."

Then he strode past me, out the door, and out of my life.