Unexpected

Chapter 13

JOANNA

It's like I can still feel the intensity of Gabe's stare from yesterday. To say I kept replaying it in my head over and over after I went to bed is an understatement. I tossed and turned all night, my mind conjuring up the warmth of his skin on my hands.

When I offered him a massage, a selfish part of me didn't want the night to end. Seeing how tense he was, I didn't think. I just acted. Well, until he took off his shirt.

I forced myself to focus so I could be done quickly, but when he let out a soft moan, everything in me tightened and I just kept torturing myself.

Hearing him singing earlier made me more attuned to how sexy his voice is. The way he closed his eyes when he was choosing the perfect notes showed me a soft side to him. His gaze studying me as I tried to come back with better words was almost hypnotic.

And then last night... Me rubbing my hands all over him.

One can have only so much self-control.

After letting him know I was done, the look in his eyes showed me clearly I was not alone with my feelings. He was as lost in the moment as I was. He would've kissed me if I allowed it.

But I chickened out.

I got scared and ran to my room. It's as if what I've always wanted was right there in front of me, but a part of me was afraid to get it. What if things got weird? What if I was just imagining things?

He's probably thinking I'm a nutcase, and I confess I'm a little embarrassed to face him. So much so that when Maria woke up at seven to get some work done in a cafe nearby, I jumped at the chance to join her. The boys were all still sleeping when we left, so we stuck a note on the fridge saying we'd be back after lunch.

Now here we are enjoying the quiet place while trying to get some work done.

She's on a video call with a client, and I'm trying to focus on the manuscript I'm editing. The good thing is that when Maria is working, her only focus is on the job, so she doesn't realize how tense I am. Because how do I explain to her I almost kissed her brother last night?

I half expected Gabe to shoot me a message or something as we had discussed working on the songs during the morning, but it's almost noon and so far I got nothing from him.

"Do you think Josh will leave the band?" Maria asks after a while, pulling me away from my thoughts. "I can't imagine them going separate ways."

"From what I gathered, Josh is the only one thinking about that." I take a sip of my coffee.

"Do you think he wants to go solo?" She meets my gaze.

"I mean, he's the lead singer and gets most of the attention," I say. "Even if he goes solo, he'll need a band in order to make shows. So why not stay with the guys who are practically his family?"

"Maybe he has some other reasons he's not telling them."

"Maybe..."Clearing my throat, I keep my eyes on her. "Gabe suggested we wrote a couple of songs together to help me get out of my writer's block."

"Oh, that sounds exciting." She smiles, and I sigh in relief. I didn't realize I needed her approval until now. She has been my rock and lifeline for so many years, that the last thing I want is to disappoint her.

And maybe that's the real reason I didn't kiss Gabe yesterday. I'm sure he's not ready for a relationship, even though I saw how ready he was to kiss me. However, if he and I cross that line and things go south, I wouldn't want Maria to be caught in the middle.