1 | Tip of the iceberg

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TW: selfharm and eating issues mentioned

Kiara

I woke up sore. Like most mornings. The time was 5:27 on a Saturday. I hate my brain.
The only good thing about this was that none of the little demons were awake yet. Maybe Alex was but he didn't bother showing up.
I decided then and there that if I had to be awake at this hour so did they. So I made my way to Elijah's bedroom. He was in a deep sleep and I was jealous. Fuck it he's a baby. I left the room. Caleb was my next potential victim. He had gotten drunk last night and I was going to give him that hangover.

Before I could enter Caleb's room a hand grabbed me. "Kie, why are you awake?" Alex's worried voice came from behind me. "Caleb stinks so bad that I could smell the alcohol in my room" I lied to him. Alex didn't like any of us underage gals drinking. He sighed and turned me to look at him. (He was much taller than I was). "I don't think that's it Kiara" he said. I rolled my eyes. "Ally I love you but I ain't doing this shit" I said as I turned around to go back to my room. 'Language' he whispered after me but I didn't care.

I wasn't mad at Alex or anybody else really. I just needed an excuse to fall apart. And that one wasn't a good excuse but it was something. Right? I locked the bathroom and slid down the wall. Right as I was about to make the second line I heard a knock. It's 6 am. Who is bothering me at that time??
"What do you want?" I ask pissed. Elijah's voice mumbles something as he tries the door. "What are you doing in there? We have to get breakfast" he finally said.

"I'm not hungry." I state. "Bullshit. If you won't come yourself I'll call Chris and Dylan" he warned. I sighed. I really am not in the mood to lose a door. "Fine." I say. From the sounds of it he did his happy dance and left.

I grabbed a small bandage and covered the cut. God forbid anybody sees. Elijah would take me to a hospital, Caleb would be pissed, Alex would lock me somewhere, Chris would kill me, Dylan would take my door away. So none of these better happen to me!

I went downstairs despite my wishes not to. Everybody except Caleb was at the table. "Why does Caleb get to skip and I have to attend?" I groan. "Caleb is cooking since he got caught" Chris says smirking. "I know Kie ratted me out! I just need to prove it!" Caleb yells from the kitchen.

"Kie was asleep when you got home" Elijah jumps to my defense. "Kiara you're not going to school next week. We have a business trip and you're coming with Dylan, Chris and I" Alex announced. Elijah and Caleb groaned in jealousy. "We would've taken Caleb but he is grounded" Chris adds. I nod happily. I hate school and I love travelling. "Wait so you're leaving them alone? Here? All alone?" I asked as it hit me. "Oh no we will be back the same night" Alex said. "Then why do I miss school the whole week?" I asked now mega confused.

"Because you'll hate us after the trip" Dylan speaks up. Alex gives him a death glare. "Oh God what have you done?" Elijah asks before I could. I could tell Caleb knew. "You will hate them. Not me. Since I'm not going" he says quite happily. What have they done now?

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I'm now in my room, scrolling on TikTok when I hear a knock. Caleb enters quietly. I give him a confused look. "I'll take you to a party tonight if you don't rat me out for drinking" he proceeds to say. "Elijah's coming too" he adds. I raise my brows at him. "And I'll let you drink too" he sighs. I give him a smile. He knew me so well. I reach my hand out to him. "Deal, but why do you think I'd rat you out?" I ask. "I am grounded but I promised Vicky to go and I need you with me because Alex has a soft spot for you and then he'll be less mad." he explains.

"Why is Elijah coming?" I ask. "Because Alex will be pissed if you were at a party alone. And I'm not babysitting" he says proudly. "Okay" I give a quick answer and get back to watching Chris Olsen's new TikTok. "Kie I just called you a baby" he says. "Cool" I say back not really caring. "Normally you would be chasing me with a knife by now...are you ill? I didn't see you eat anything-" he mumbles to himself. "Why are you still in my room?" I ask annoyed. He puts his hands up in surrender as he leaves.

Three
Two
One

"Caleb asked me to check on you" Elijah says walking in. "Hello Eli" I say not looking up. He comes over to my bed and touches my forehead. "No fever. Why you acting weird Kie?" he asks, making himself comfortable. "I'm tired. Leave me alone" I hiss at him. "You're always tired recently. You really should eat more, you're basically a skeleton" he mumbles. I grab him by the collar to look at me.

"Another word and I'll make you regret waking up" I threaten him. "HELP" he yells out. I let go shaking my head. "Why is Elijah yelling?" Chris asks walking in. "Kie wants to kill me" Elijah whimpers. "Why?" Chris now asks me. "He called me a skeleton" I answer still staring at my phone. "He is not wrong, you've lost quite a lot of weight now that I'm looking at you" Chris mutters. "Another word and the same offer stands for the both of you" I warn them. They back away. Elijah uses the free moment to get out of my room. Chris stays looking at me.
"What?" I ask feeling his eyes on me. "Nothing" he says as he leaves too.

I can feel tingles on my body. "Motherfucker" I groan making my way to the bathroom and locking the door behind me.

I don't mean to cut as often as I do. But I can't stop. It helps deal with emotions. I let the blade drop as I watch the blood run down my arm. I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall.

Motherfucker.

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