Nothing Ever Lasts Forever | BOOK 1 ✔️

12 | The notes

TW: serious talk, strong language, suicide mention (notes)

Alex

I got a message from one of Kiara's bodyguards telling me that a guy her age had entered her room. I didn't mind it at first since he probably had a good reason but for precaution I called Hans to check if he knew him.

After a nagging conversation with my friend, I learn everything I needed to know and continue my drive home with the boys with me. We have made it our responsibility to search Kiara's room again. We missed something the first time and hell if I make that mistake again. I won't.

At first it seems normal. Something feels abnormal though. Out of place. But I can't tell what. And then Dylan announces it. It becomes so obvious. Her nightstand. It's in a wrong position and instead of facing the wardrobe, it's facing the bed. We walk over there. And there it was. One floorboard that looked different to the rest. We are heads of the Italian mafia so we do know how to hide things. Dylan opens it and inside is a stash. A huge stash of different drugs. But they aren't what concern me right now. No. What concern me is five envelopes messily on top of everything. With our names on them. I grab mine immediately and Dylan passes around the others. Only Chris' stays sealed.

Inside is a note and a self-made bracelet.

Alex

I want to say I'm sorry but I'm not. If only I'm sorry for leaving. A part of me wishes you never read this but since you are that means I finally did it. I finally succeeded. I know I sound sick.
Please don't blame yourself. You were the best brother ever. And I was a mistake. You would've been fine with just Elijah but I just had to be born alongside him. For that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my existence, for every penny you paid for me, for every time I angered you, for every hour you spent worrying. You were my guide. When I lost my way you guided me back to the right path.

You didn't deserve that. And I'll always love you. My Fratello maggiore.

Fino a quando ci incontriamo di nuovo

Your annoying little sister

Kiara <3

I look at the signed date.

17.01.2022.
24.12.2022.

Her birthday, Christmas.
And under them is another date signed with a different colored ink again which catches my eye.

28.03.2023

Yesterday.
She tried to kill herself...yesterday.
Three times. She has tried it three times. She had to change the date on the letter three times.

My heart hurts. I look up with tears in my eyes and I watch the others with the same expression. Dylan's cold eyes are now tired and hurt. Elijah's happy soul looks crushed and Caleb's eyes speak more than I could read. Elijah is crying. "D-did you see the dates?" he asks us. I nod. We all do. We all noticed the same thing. And it hurt. I don't know what was written in their notes but I was curious to see what she wrote to Chris.

As if telepathically they were next to me. Caleb grabbed Chris' note from me and ripped it open. Guilt kicked us and we went to Chris' room. I knew he was there because God knows he never stays out long. We rush in and his annoyance can be felt in the air.

"The fuck you want?" He asks. I toss him the unopened note. He looks confused. "Read it. Out loud" I order and he does

"Chris

I don't think you understand how much I wish we were closer. How much I actually looked up to you. Now I'm gone and that will never happen. I'm sorry fratello. I should've made a bigger effort. But I didn't. And now is too late to. But you were my dagger. Encouraging me to fight.

I hope you know it wasn't your fault. I don't care about stupid arguments but what hurt was the fact that it was you. You wanted to hurt me and you did. Don't blame yourself and don't let the others blame you either.

sei molto più carina dentro, non dimenticarlo

Your annoying little sister

Kiara <3"

His face drops too. Kie added that last part yesterday. The dates are the same.

"What is this?" He asks. "She tried to kill herself Christopher" Dylan says. And never before has Chris looked as pale as he looked now.

"Where is she?" He asks. "The hospital. She got drunk and mixed alcohol with drugs" I explain. "That isn't a suicide attempt" he says. "I know. We need to go and ask her. Because the date matches and she had hid them in a hurry" I say. Chris looks heartbroken. I know he never meant to actually hurt her. And he was the first one she asked for.

"What did she write in yours?" Chris asks Elijah. His face told us that it was something else. A twin thing. But he read and oh man I felt fucking sick.

"Elijah

La mia altra metà. I'm so sorry you have to read this. I'm so sorry for however you must be feeling. Although a part of me thinks you'll be okay. You were my superhero. We were the same age yet it felt like you were much older. You were the one that would stay up with me when I was ill. You brought my meals up to my room when I felt like I was too weak to come down. (with different ink:)You slept on my floor after the Carl incident because you didn't want me to be alone.

You gave me something that other people will be searching for their whole lives. You gave me the love that no boyfriend ever could. You loved me like I love others. And you knew it's what I always craved. You told me stories to make me feel better. You were the light when everything else was dark. But even the light dies out at some point. And I won't blame you for it.

Mi dispiace tanto per aver ferito tu. Vivere. Vivi una vita che meriti. Siate felici. Dimenticami

Le monde connaîtra ton nom!

Your annoying twin sister

Kiara <3"

I know why he was crying. That shit was deep. Kie poured her heart out into that piece of paper. "She said I was her shelter. From the storm. Elijah was the light and I was the fucking shelter. How could I not notice this?" Caleb speaks finally.

"I was the shoulder. She said I never left and she could cry or yell and I would stay. Her shoulder to cry on" Dylan reveals.

"I was the guide, when she lost the map" I reveal mine too.

So it goes

Alex (me) - the guide
Dylan - the shoulder
Chris - the dagger
Caleb - the shelter
Elijah - the light

"She's the princess. We were all these things for her and she is the her" I say.

"We're acting like she died..." Caleb points out. "She's safe and sound in a hospital in need of all of us and we are here crying like lunatics acting as if she didn't make it" he laughs. We join him. He's right.

We all put the notes somewhere safe and then made our way to the car. Chris with us this time. To tell our sister that she doesn't get to die. That we won't let her die.

No matter how much she may want to.

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Shut up, I'm not crying. Poor Elijah-

Anywaaayyyys. She's fine everybody. She's just amazing.

Do you want to know what was in Dylan's and Caleb's notes? Let me know please.
Thxx

Stay hydrated, eat and don't off yourselves babes. We need you here. Suicide ain't the answer.

X