secrets of his

shutting down

thomas' POV:

it had been a few weeks since the dreaded day. newt hadn't spoken to me and a week ago i gave up, the gladers were the same. they were furious at me and i hadn't had the chance to explain myself, i don't even know if they'd believe me now... i avoided the pack, lydia avoided me. isaac had tried a few times to talk to me but i'd wormed out of it every time. i felt like my whole world had come crashing down and god i was just so tired... tired of pretending, tired of lying, tired of my own behaviour which had led to all this.

i was exhausted, mentally and physically, i can't get to sleep most of the time. the times i do i'm plagued with nightmares but worst of all... i just miss newt. everything about him. i don't know if he still thinks we're together or not, i don't wanna know the answer- too scared that it's what i think it is.

most of the days i just drift through lessons, trying to come up with ways to make it up to them all but i come up empty handed. i'm so lost.

no one's POV.

isaac watched as thomas sat down in the far right corner, the gladers shot him worrying looks that he never saw, too busy staring as peeling paint. he watched as newt struggled to keep his eyes open. isaac knew his sleeping schedule had died weeks prior.

he let out a long sigh, making scott turn to him.

"what's the matter?"

isaac shook his head softly.

"nothing... you playing on friday?"

scott nodded and didn't push further. he was too caught up in his own world anyway. isaac looked back to thomas and newt. both of who had fallen fast asleep.

when the teacher came in he wore a much too happy face for a thursday morning.

"right class. today we're getting into pairs and starting the week long projects. so everyone pair off"

no one's POV:

isaac went with minho- they were on much better terms now considering how much isaac had been hanging out with them. and everyone else filtered off until the two sleeping beauties were left. the teacher clapped his hands loudly and they woke up with a start.

"so you two are the last ones. pair up and work. the topic is... the human mind"

thomas sighed a little and picked himself up, he plopped down in the seat next to newt and said nothing.

newt rose an intentionally obvious hand and thomas watched him with dulled eyes.

"uhhh yes newt?"
the teacher asked in a confused tone

"i was actually wondering if i could work alone. i just think i'm better off on my own"

he asked adding emphasis on alone, not bothering to look at thomas beside him. any werewolf in the room could probably hear the small crack as thomas' heart shattered a little.

'he doesn't even wanna be in the same group as me. he can't even look at me?' thomas thought to himself. the teacher nodded and went back to the rules and regulations. the sharp screech of a chair made the room fall silent.

thomas yanked his backpack off the ground, eyes downcast and walked quickly and deliberately straight out the classroom, the teachers objections fell on deaf ears. newt watched him go with a twinge of guilt. he wiped it from his mind when he thought back to that dreaded day.

newt clenched his teeth and went back to his work. behind him minho and gally shared a look.

-

once thomas was out of the school he hopped in his jeep and drove silently home. his body felt empty, his mind felt clogged with unintelligible thoughts. thomas barely registered the hot tears that began to pour down his face. he rubbed them haphazardly on his sleeve and pulled into his driveway.

he dropped his head onto the wheel at the sight of his dads car placed there- of course that's what he needed today. he carefully and very slowly got out the car. thomas entered the house quietly, keeping his head down and praying his dad was somewhere out of sight. he stepped on a loose floorboard which made an awful creaking sound.  this made his dad pop round the corner, eyes furrowed with a burger hanging out his mouth.

"tom... it's the middle of the day, is everything alright?"

thomas nodded, not trusting his voice and walked straight to his room, shutting and bolting the door behind him. he dropped unceremoniously onto his bed with a long sigh.

all he wanted to do was lie in bed and stay there. that way he couldn't mess anything else up. that's what he did, he lay there for hours, watching shadows slowly creep up his wall as he thought through all his mistakes and lies, beating himself up.

a soft knock came from his door. thomas didn't bother answering, or even moving his head.

"son? look... i know i don't have much idea of what's going on in your life... but i have noticed an absence of your usual friends, your family... your boyfriend and, well, yourself. you can always talk to me- i'll always be here to listen..."

he trailed off slowly. thomas made no comment  although tears began to well in his eyes.

"tom...?"

no response

"well, the offer will stand. try get some sleep alright?"

after a moment more thomas heard the floorboard creak as his father shifted from the door to his own bedroom. thomas let out another long sigh. he seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

he turned to his side, picking up a small framed photo of him and newt when they went to the beach a couple months back. he had given him a sun tattoo reading 'cutie' on his forehead and newt was scowling whilst thomas squished their faces together. he was beaming  and behind them minho had buried gally in the sand.

another stood beside it of them at an arcade, newt was clutching a giant stuffed bunny and had a large smile plastered on his face. thomas had taken him by surprise with the photo and he had to fight for his life to stop newt from deleting it. in the background brenda had her hand lodged in a claw machine, alby was trying desperately to get it out whilst aris and gally were in the back playing a very competitive game of mario kart.

thomas hugged the frame to his chest, closing his eyes tightly and trying desperately to fall into unconscious. when sleep finally met him the sun was peeking over the horizon.

thomas was so tired.

heyyyyy sorry for uhhh lack of update. kinda hit snooze on my timer and forgot but it's here now!! also timer is basically the writer of this story THEIR IDEAS ARE TOP NOTCH.

thank u MarvelMulitverse238