Wishful Steps

5

Demerval closed the bungalow door behind him and ran. He threw himself onto the bed and crawled up to Tina with a silly smile on his face. Friga, jealous, let out a howl and lay back down on the floor, next to Tina.

"Where were you? Why are you so happy?" Tina asked.

"I just went on a trail with your friend, Guilherme," Demer said, crossing his legs and intertwining his fingers behind his head.

"And why did that make you happy? Because of the trail or because of Guilherme?"

"Don't be silly, Tina. This island is... enchanting!" Demerval replied.

"Are you not even going to ask how my day was?"

"How was your day, my dear?"

"I had to deal with the exchange issue with the office staff in the morning, and right after that, they pulled me to welcome a group of American tourists heading to the Dolphin Inn in the northern part of the island. I came back in the middle of the afternoon, and you weren't here. Sandra from the reception told me you had gone out with Guilherme. Which trail did you guys take?"

"We took the Seagulls Lookout trail. He's a really nice guy and a very attentive guide. He is just as cool as Pépe. And what about him? You said he was coming, right?"

"He and Claudinha aren't doing well. They had a fight, and he thought it was best to stay with her."

"They will never be okay. Claudinha found out she was being cheated. It would be better if they separated while there's still some respect left. At least they could keep a kind of friendship."

"She found out he was cheating on her with a man. Can you believe it? Pépe, gay!" She spoke, joining her fingers as if she were Italian.

"I already suspected."

"Come on. He never gave any hint. I was his best friend, and he never opened up to me like that. How did you suspect?"

"I don't know. I just felt like he was always hiding something. He painted this perfect picture of everything. Don't you think?"

"Lately, Claudinha kept saying she wished she could be a fly on the wall to see what her husband was like when she wasn't around. If she suspected he was gay or bi, she wouldn't have invested so much in the marriage, which lasted such a short time, poor thing. I also wanted to know, you know?"

Demerval sat on the bed and asked, "Know what?"

"To know how you are when you're away from me. What people say about me."

"After twenty-five years of marriage, do you think there's still something you don't know about me, Tina?"

"We are humans, not machines, Demerval. We discover new things about the people around us and ourselves all the time. Desires we never noticed before blossom, and lifelong certainties dissolve in the blink of an eye."

"What do you want to know about me?" Demer asked, dragging himself to the edge of the bed.

"If this is our last vacation together," Tina replied.

"Why do you say that? What nonsense is this, my love?" Demer said, embracing his wife.

"Prove it."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want to make love, Demerval! Actually, I want to fuck! She said in a snake-like voice, whispering in her husband's ear. He widened his eyes. He wasn't expecting that. "I want you to fuck me on this bed like we used to when we traveled to Ubatuba before we got married, remember? I want you to take me with force, with desire." She said with a serious, challenging look, lying down on the bed and propping herself up on her forearms. She spread her legs.

Demerval swallowed hard, cleared his throat, and said, "Maybe later, who knows. I'm not in the mood right now. You caught me by surprise."

"You're never in the mood, Demerval," she said, watching her husband go to the window, open it, and step onto the balcony.

She walked up to him and leaned against the window frame. Demerval held onto the varnished wooden fence of the balcony, gazing out at the orange horizon. The wind brought the cool breeze of the ocean, rustling the piaçava that made up the bungalow's ceiling.

"If it were Pépe asking me what I asked you, would you be in the mood?" she asked.

"Don't be foolish. Where did you get that idea? Don't come up with that story again."

"Claudinha said she saw Pépe kissing another man in the locker room after that soccer game." Demerval turned away from her, undressed in the middle of the room, and went to the shower. Tina followed him and kept talking, "She invited everyone, bought a cake, it was supposed to be a surprise party for him, and she was the one who ended up surprised. When her husband took too long to come out of the locker room, she went to call him and saw him locking lips with another guy. She saw it with her own eyes, Demerval! That day, she ran away and left everything behind. Pépe chased after her. We all didn't understand what had happened. Months later, she told me what she had seen. She never said who Pépe was with, but I distinctly remember seeing you coming out of the locker room after the commotion started."

"How many times do I have to say that I was taking a shower? I didn't see Pépe kissing anyone." Demerval said, washing his hair with soap. "When she started causing a scene inside the locker room, everyone who was still there left, and I was the only one who didn't see or hear the whole commotion."

"It's funny that you weren't surprised, and you didn't even ask me what had happened. It seemed like you already knew."

"Of course, I knew. Claudinha is jealous and always causing drama," Demerval said, soaping his body. "Remember that day when she threw the caipirinha glass in Pépe's face on his birthday? Just because two girls were dancing next to him to flirt. When I came out of the locker room, and they told me that Claudinha had freaked out, I wasn't surprised. She freaks out all the time." Demerval turned off the shower, dried himself with a towel, and wrapped it around his waist before going back to the bedroom.

"And why haven't you and Pépe spoken since that day? You seemed like best friends. It's been like that ever since I introduced you both."

"Pépe is a nice guy. However, he attracts trouble. I already have enough of the usual nagging from you. I don't need new ones like what's happening now. Understand? And if I were gay, don't you think I would know it? In twenty-five years of marriage, when did I change with you?"

"I don't think you've changed, well, not completely. But I notice that you take a lot of pleasure when I run my tongue on your... or when I put my finger there on..." She choked on her words while trying to gesture with her hands.

"All your idea!" he said, laughing ironically as he put on underwear. "Of course, I get excited.  Wasn't that the proposal? Wasn't it you who said we should try new things? Less than six months ago, you were considering the possibility of inviting your biker, single friend to spend the night at our house. Forgot about that?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I wasn't serious, Demerval," she said, undressing in the middle of the room and throwing her clothes on the bed. Friga wagged her tail and followed her owner to the bathroom, lying down next to the sink. "I wanted to test you!"

"How am I supposed to know when you're serious or not?" Demerval replied, raising his voice as he heard the sound of the shower being turned on.