The Popularity Game

{ s i x t e e n } The Escapists

"What?!"

The involuntary word of shock manages to escape both mine and Jason's mouth before we can stop it. Fortunately for me, Jason was the only one who had heard. Unfortunately for him, he'd used his normal voice, causing Mrs. Collins' head to shoot up at the tone of shock and sudden masculinity.

He tries to recover quickly, high-pitched voice and all, "I-I mean, huh? Your daughter will have baby?"

Mrs. Collins dives back into the massage table and wails, "Yes, pregnant!" She sobs uncontrollably as Jason awkwardly pats her back. "Th-think of how fat she's going to get!"

Of course.

"Everything go alright-" He tries to comfort her, but only manages to make her sob harder. Through the surveillance camera, I see him eyeing the door, trying to calculate how fast he should run to make it without her noticing.

"Don't even think about it Matthews! Running is only going to make her suspicious!" I'm shocked with how calm and collected I sound, when in reality, it feels like I'd just been pushed head-first into the ocean.

And it wasn't the fun kind.

The only upside was that it made me forget all about my cramps.

Chloe's pregnant? She didn't even have her first kiss until almost a month ago and now she's-

I shake my head, trying to get the residual thoughts of my best friend away as i focus on the laptop screen that showed Jason trying to make his escape.

Mrs. Collins continues spurting out rants in between her wails. "A-And she's going to an Ob-Gyn while I'm in London so I can't even check to see if the clinic has good furnishing!"

Matthews stiffens, "Baby doctor, you say?" He clears his throat, trying to remain casual. "What time?" He adds hurriedly, "So that I can tell you which time is good luck for baby Culins."

She sniffs, "Five o'clock, but although I don't see how it can be good luck when it's the one on Harris street." And just when we think it's over, she continues, "It's not even in the classy part of town!"

"Okay, we got everything. Get out now!"

"-oh look at that! All your other chakras have opened, you have now attained full peace! Namaste!" He pushes her off the massage table (and I mean, push), and fold it back into place, grabbing all his other equipment. "Must leave now! Goodbye!"

Mrs. Collins huffs and grabs hold of a side table to hoist herself up, "No, you can't leave! I don't even feel relaxed yet!" She yells out as she grabs his arm. His wig is starting to slip, and he (somehow) manages to fix it with the massage board that he's balancing with his other arm.

This was a real hot mess.

"Must! Go!" Jason tugs himself free, and stumbles to the door, holding onto his wig. "I must return to China! Economy is crashing down without me!"

"I didn't even get my full hour yet!" she manages to grab hold of his hair, tugging at it. "You look thinner already!" Mrs. Collins lets go, "Really?" Jason swivels around, starting to agree when he knocks her head with the massage table. The blonde fall to the ground, completely wiped out.

"Did you just knock out my best friend's mother?" I say, aghast. I don't know whether to laugh or to scold him, so I settle with being his heist man slash escapee. "Get out of there! Go!"

I hear stumbles and crashes as footsteps echo through the microphone.

I shut my eyes and rub my temples, trying to wrap my head around the newfound information. My best friend is pregnant. No-she couldn't be. But what if she is? My best friend is having a baby with her enemy. Or ex-enemy and current boyfriend. Or fake boyfriend. What if the baby turns out half evil and ruins her life and she'll have to drop out of college and oh my God she's going to be on a reality show where they stalk teenagers with babies and-