PART 21 - Chapter 13

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PART 21 – Chapter 13

The trailer door slams behind me as I exhale in jagged breaths. They want me gone. Gone!

I haven’t done anything wrong have I? Besides the mistakes Westley is so keen to point out relentlessly, I am a normal person here. No one knows about the voice and the one person I was close to telling was burned alive! This shouldn’t be.

My arms rake at my hair, messing it up worse than it already is. I feel the residue on my fingers and barely care anymore. There was once a time where I would get upset over little things like that. I want those times back.

“Shit,” I curse at myself. My hands pound against my skull in hopes to beat the pressure out. Over and over again I swear at my current situation, trying to make sense of it all. Tears threaten my eyes but I breathe them back as best I can. It seems like Masque had bequeathed her eternal sorrow unto me. And even though I say it in fancy terms, it doesn’t make the pain any lessened.

My arms fall from rubbing at my face and hang limply at my side. I feel as though I am the undead trying to fight for survival. But what’s the point to stay alive when you’re already lifeless at heart? It’s not like anyone cares at this circus. I’m just one step from being institutionalized.

Breathe. I just need to breathe. I exhale, trying to keep steady but my skin crawls and tingles with every intake of breath. In, out, in, out. It’s not working. It just makes my head feel lighter.

Looking around my trailer, I realize I don’t feel safe anymore. My life has become more like the result of icy breaths aimed at the back of my neck whenever I leave a trailer. I haven’t been very protected before but now I’m terrified for my life. And with good reason.

A glint on my vanity finds my attention. A glass bottle sits innocently on the top with a manila tag tied to its neck. I push off the door and storm over to grab it.  Reading the note, I practically burst out laughing at the sardonic twist of it all.

‘Please give to Westley when you see him. Thank you. –Lightning Feather.’

The liquid swishes around in the brown tinted glass as I hold it in the light. It’s such a blameless thing. Whatever is in here, whatever it’ll do to Westley, Feather will go free of guilt and probably not lose an ounce of sleep. She’ll be blameless if it ever goes to trial because they’ll already not believe my insane mind. But she doesn’t know I know now. And I’ll make sure she doesn’t hurt him; I give my word.

I grip the neck of the bottle tightly as I throw open the entrance to the trailer. Anger smashes the bottle to the ground and I watch as it breaks into little shards scattering beneath my trailer’s steps. The liquid spread like a flame before dissipating into the earth. A sick grin dominates my face but vanishes with the yell from the person’s whose feet they almost fractured.

“What was that for?” The words make me glance up to find none other than Rick. His concerned face looks to mine as I practically shut the door on him. He hurries up the stairs and shoves on it before I can fully close it. No matter how hard I push, he keeps the door open until I just give up and stagger back into the trailer.

“Get out!” I point to the door and try to push him. But I’m no match for him and we both know it. My arms barely move him a step and I crumble inside. “No! Just fucking leave!

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” He shoves me back further into the trailer and stands there with righteous anger in his pose. I look in his eyes and realize this is the first time I’ve ever seen him this insistent. To me, Rick has always been reclusive and self-reliant. He’s quiet and nice but he’s not one for speaking his mind. Yet here he is, shouting at me and demanding to know. And right now, I don’t need it. “Why can’t you trust one person? Let me help you. At least let me try.”

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