PART 28 - The In-Between: Forgive Me

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PART 28 – The In-Between: Forgive Me

I belong here, thinks the girl with blistered, reddened skin. Shame overwhelms her emotions but she fights back the tears. The scars on her skin, the cracks in her hands, the lack of muscles on her bones? She is used to those imperfections but with everything she has become, she disgusts herself. No longer can she fight what has happened; she can only to accept and place the blame. The guilt that burns her soul should be her ex-lover’s. He is the one who should be punished for the rest of his life, not her. With his escape though, he could be doing the same tortures to someone else. Somewhere out there, another young girl could be forced into—

A groan of waking catches Rachael’s attention. Hazel eyes turn to the right and find the youngest girl lying upon the floor. The burned one watches as the other reaches her hand to her light brown hair, massaging the lump the unexpected swing had left on her head.

How lucky you are, how tortured your life,” Rachael whispers with her voices. She speaks to the one who knows nothing. That girl is the center of it all; the girl who surfaces, the girl who breathes in a dream come true. The one sitting upon the bed —the only place she can find solace within herself— sets her feet upon the cold floor and moves toward the window. There, Rachael freezes and waits.

Lying on the glossy floor, the ceiling focuses into view and the girl finally becomes aware of where she is. Pale hands scramble beneath her as she sees the same haze of a room she has been forced into for weeks. Her fingers grab for the bed post as she lets out a scream of frustration. Nails scratch at the walls and beat anything within reach.

“No! Get me out of here,” Angela yells. Her spine folds back with the attempts to free her mind from the sight she sees. When nothing changes, the white of her eyes redden until there hurt as much as the headache. Her cries end with pitiful sobs as she begs over and over to be set free. Rachael stays at the window saying nothing. Motionless and in a somewhat state of paralysis, she refuses to budge. Her mind barely acknowledges the girl’s voice but she understands the desperate confusion.

When Angela’s tantrum of fear dies down, her thin frame huddles by the bed, clinging to it with angered strength. She fears her life is no longer and this is the hell she is doomed to repeat. Tears drip down her already damp cheeks.

Please forgive me,” Rachael mumbles breathily, still staring into the misty void outside. Angela doesn’t move. The two are locked in the same fear, the same frustration. There is only the silence between them and the sounds of the rain beating the window’s glass. The pitter-patter fills the girls with a sense of relief and hope. That’s what the rain gives: hope of a new and brighter beginning.

The dancer studies the barred window and the shadow in front of it. To her, Rachael is a demon. Rachael is the cause of her problems. Rachael should die.

And yet the conscious of Angela’s mind tells her this girl is innocent. This demon has her own story that is more painful and terrible than she could imagine. Slowly, she uncurls her legs and pulls heavily on the bed post for support to her feet. Muscles reject the weight but she keeps her ground. The hair on her arms prickle at the thought of comforting such a monster. After all, childhood stories are filled with monsters, scary hideous creatures with skin so oozy and wretched there is no way you cannot see the evil. Ugly is wicked and that’s the end of it.

But this deteriorated skin, this lonely girl… she isn’t evil. Deep down, Angela wants to accept that fact. Her dream state tells her it is the right thing to do.

The girl ambles over warily, her instincts on high alert. The window is closer now but the lifeless Rachael feels unaware of the closing distance. She is in her own mind thinking and arguing within herself. It’s the nightmare she is doomed to live.

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