I Will Hold Your Hand Gently

Chapter 3: I wonder if all of this is just a dream?

Walking down the aisle with someone who wasn't my father was a weird and uncomfortable feeling. It took everything inside of me to endure holding this stranger's arm. The Spheral Family were well known for not only producing strong Guide but also their trade business. However, their business was starting to fall apart after supporting the former Crown Prince, but even then, they would still have enough power to kill me should I try to run away. There was only one way I could leave this family alive. Once the marriage is over, Five and I will no longer be part of the Spheral Family, and therefore I can leave in peace.

Hopefully...

The pastor waited for us at the altar with my future husband. The veil I was wearing made it hard for me to make out what he looked like. I can tell that he was tall though since he was taller than the pastor. Also, maybe because of the blurriness of the veil, the Pastor looked like he was shaking in fear.

We finally reached the altar, and I couldn't wait to let go of this man's arm. The moment my hand left his arm, he pulled me in for a hug. My whole body shook in disgust at this man who was trying to display his fatherly love. Not once has this man been kind or even thought of Five. Just for looks, he was willing to go this far. I wanted to hurl so bad. As he slowly lets go, he whispers something in my ear.

It didn't come to me as a shock. He wished for me never to come back to the family even as a corpse. I took a deep breath and gave him the most sarcastic smile I could without throwing a fist in his fist. He went straight to his seat after the courtesy hug. I marched up to the altar and stood beside my future husband. I want this to be over with.

"Today we are gathering here to celebrate a joyous marriage of two households," said the Pastor.

It was the usual speech given at every wedding. I went to one of my friends' weddings in the past. It was long and boring. The exciting part didn't happen until the end when the bride and groom kissed. I waited until the Pastor got there, enduring the long boring speech. I quickly woke up from the dull moment when the Pastor said my future husband's house name.

"I am honored to be allowed to combine two wonderful households: House Spheral and House Sigma..."

I couldn't hear the rest of the speech. I turned my head to the left as I held my breath. In the next moment, the veil was removed and pulled back. Deep glowing yellow eyes like the moonlight stare back at me as though looking into my soul.

Am I dreaming...?

I don't remember what happened afterward. I just found myself in the carriage that was taking me to my future home where I will be living from now on. I pinched myself on the cheek hard. So hard, the thick makeup was smeared against the tip of my finger. This wasn't a dream.

The Pastor said House Sigma... House Sigma...

It's a trendy topic of being reincarnated. It was also a trendy topic to be reincarnated into a novel. So, if I am in a novel right now, then the only novel I've read that had the name House Sigma was The Maiden Chronicles. The novel of my favorite character, Zwei Sigma, is the third male lead. I quickly covered my face as I still couldn't believe it. To be reincarnated into my favorite novel and even get married to my favorite character!

Is this why I died? Is this why I was brought here?! So can I marry him?! OH MY GOSH!

My face was getting hotter by the minute. I need to calm down. Even if I got married to him, and became his wife, I would look like a maniac just opening myself up like an open book. Zwei doesn't know who I am. If I were to think logically, it's not normal for a woman to fall in love with Zwei due to his reputation. A ruthless, cold-hearted, and merciless murderer.

However, because I read the novel, I know that Zwei is far from a cold person! He's sweet, and caring! He grinds his teeth when he sleeps thinking of meat. Steak is his favorite food. He would turn his head away when he's embarrassed about something or when he's trying to apologize!

Gosh, my mind sounds like a stalker and a freak!

No matter how excited I was, I had to hide it. Knowing what I know from the novel, Zwei will be cold towards me and treat me like a stranger. If I want to get close to him, I need to tread slowly and carefully. I thought that I was going to be married to an old disgusting man, but it turns out it was my favorite character! I was conflicted about thanking those people or laughing at them for being so foolish as to allow me to be with him!

The carriage stopped after long hours of driving. I was escorted out of the carriage and brought to my room. All of the maids, servants, and knights presented themselves before me. The atmosphere here was very different from the Spheral house. Not a single person's eyes here were filled with disdain, scorn, and disgust. The memories of Five's that I've seen so far made it feel like this was a completely different world.

I entered the room and was welcomed by the head maid, Viola. She looked to be in her early fifties with wavy gray hair and kind-looking eyes. She smiled at me with a bow, "I welcome the madam of the Sigma House, my name is Viola."

I return her greeting. I didn't know any of the etiquette in the novel. It wasn't mentioned nor talked about, but from all of the movies I watched it should be something like this. Lower my head slightly while bending my knee to a certain degree. A small smile but not too much of a grin. When I lift myself back up, I have to do it slowly and gently like a soft graze. As I finished my greeting, everyone in the room went silent. Their puzzling reaction made me doubt if I did the bow correctly.

"How graceful..." someone muttered out.

So, did I do it right then?

Viola's surprised look quickly reverted to her smile, "Magnificently done Madam. I am honored to have you as our new madam."

I wanted to say thank you to Viola, but my throat was in bad shape so I could only nod at her. They took me on a tour around the mansion. It was a lot bigger than the Spheral's mansion and even more spacious. The only thing that the Spheral's house would be better than the Sigma's house would be the decoration and atmosphere. There wasn't enough color, and everything felt monotone as though the household itself was missing life. Though, I can understand why.

Zwei grew up as an assassin and not as a noble person. There were many times when he would go undercover as a noble, but there's a limit to acting like one. He only acted the minimal amount to get close to his target. It wasn't just Zwei, but all of the staff members here were the same. Had I not read the novel, I wouldn't have recognized the gazes on my back. Then again, I came from the Spheral Household... No, not me, but Five came from that household.

Also, managing the property takes up a lot of work. There was more than just physical appearance alone for nobles. One had to do a lot of paperwork, relationship building, staff connection, and decoration to the house to keep it alive. The man of the household handles the external issues, while the internal issues are handled by the madam of the house.

I wonder why the King allowed Zwei to marry someone from the Spheral's household...

The Spheral Household may have a long history of powerful Guides from S-Class to B-Class, but they were Zwei's enemy. Also, Zwei was still in love with Alice. Knowing Zwei, he wasn't going to marry anyone if that person wasn't her. The woman who saved him from the darkness and melted his frozen heart. But I also understood that Alice could no longer provide Zwei the Guidance he needed now that she was Queen. Perhaps, the King had no other choice but to propose a marriage for Zwei since there was no stronger Guide than those who held the Spheral blood and could compare to Alice's powerful Guidance. 

 If that is the role I am to play, I will gladly play it. I used to think, if only I could be there for him, give him the comfort he needs, and help him. I can finally be someone like that for him. I can be of use to him. Someone who will stay by his side and never turn away. Even if that's selfish of me, and stepping out of line, I want this place to be a warm place for him to return to.

I wonder if all of this is just a dream...?