𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐫 || 𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂 ||

7. Why Do You Want Me To Stay?

Meira:

"Look, clearly I'm fine, I can feel all of my fingers and my head-"

"Still hurts?" The Shadowsinger - Azriel, or Az, as he asked me to call him, was as unmovable as a rock. Even worse than Devlon.

"Why can't I just go back to Windhaven, recover, and then start to rebuild-"

"You'll be safer in Verlaris." The Shadowsinger argues.

"Safer from what?"

"The threat." He says stoically.

"Of what? An overbearing Devlon? Please, he's harmless!"

"There's still a threat." The Shadowsinger argues.

"The threat's dead!" I scream, and I shut my mouth, the words dying on the tip of my tongue.

The threat's dead

Malark is dead.

I.

I killed him.

It wasn't until I said it out loud I finally began to register the result of my actions.

But somehow I didn't feel as guilty as I thought.

I tear my gaze from him, from his hazel eyes that are so overwhelming I feel like I'm staring into his soul. Instead I stare at my arms, subconsciously tracing something which isn't there.

Or supposed to be.

"Don't blame yourself." He says softly.

Azriel sits next to me in the other armchair in my room, "You got rid of a asshole who won't be missed, who didn't deserve to live. He deserved to die." He snorts a laugh, "I heard Devlon's secretly pleased."

"Probably." I whisper softly.

Probably. He was the one asking to kill him for the past decade.

"Why do you want me to stay?" I ask softly, turning to face him. He's unreadable, but the shadows curl around his neck and face.

"Do you not want to stay?" He eyes me warily, then, as if I'm a threat or something.

I look out the window. My left forearm strangely tingles, but when I pull the sleeve back there is nothing there. Azriel watches me like a hawk, but there's a scrutiny in his gaze, as if he's watching for something to happen.

Nothing happens.

"I don't know." I whisper quietly after a beat of silence. Too much silence. "All I want is to go home."

"And where's home?"

I let the feelings sink in, still trying to search for something that I know deep in my bones doesn't exist anymore.

With Devlon,it was fine. But Windhaven never really was my home. It just never felt right.

So where's home, then?

"I don't know."

—————-

"Oh good, you're awake."

Nesta sets a tray of tea down, filled with biscuits and a few cakes, and...

"And teacakes! You remembered?!"

Nesta lightly laughs, something she never used to do before. Before, it was more of a dull snicker, but she looks so much happier, healthier.

She pours me a cup of chamomile tea, and passes it over to me. I slowly sit up while she helps me rearrange the cushions. "Better?" She asks

"Yeah."

She still knows how I like my tea, and it's a nice surprise. I was expecting anger, hatred, anything really, but me and Nesta used to be so alike - silently burning.

Now my flame has bloomed into flowers, and I can still see some remnants of her death-like powers from the cauldron in her eyes, the sliver flame that used to consume her now only flickering embers.

"So how are you doing? Honestly?" I ask her.

She actually smiles, "I'm doing really good. All thanks to my mate, well most of it - as he isn't the only one responsible."

"Yourself too." I say with a smile.

"Yeah, it took a while, to forgive and grieve myself, to realise it wasn't my fault."

"It was never your fault, Nes."

"I know. And yet I couldn't, wouldn't, forgive myself."

"At least that's now in past tense." I say with a soft smile.

"Yes...yes. Took a mountain to climb, but we got there. Also took part in the blood rite-"

"The blood rite?!? Alright, my respect and amazement for you has just skyrocketed," I say with a laugh, and briefly, so does she.

"What you did for Leila," She pauses, and before I can say anything, she says it for me. "Thank you. I don't know what I - we would have done if she..." He voice broke, and I took her hand in mine.

"I know." I say quietly. She knows, that I used to do. What I still do, no matter the cost.

Protect the unprotected.

"How did you do it?" Nesta asks suddenly.

"Do what?"

"Smile. Laugh. Even when others can't. And I know you struggle." I open my mouth to object but she continues, "I've heard your screams, Meira." She says seriously.

I shut my mouth, hear the click of my jaw. I used to take a sleep sedative, but then they used to wear off so quickly I soon stopped. "Oh." I all I can get out.

"Are you sure you don't want-"

"No." I reply quickly.

"Why?" Nesta asks bluntly.

"Because the last time-" I screw my eyes shut, before letting out a heavy breath. The last time I fully tried to let go I almost killed someone.

"And anyway, I have my own coping mechanism."

"Oh? Do elaborate."

"I wander. I walk for miles and miles, explore the oceans and the forests. I have a love-hate relationship with silence, though. A bit like you." I say with a sad smile.

Nesta looks at me, really looks like me. There's something...apologetic about her gaze, before it snaps to my now-empty teacup. I can just about make out her face before everything starts to go hazy.

"Nes...what'dy...put..." my mouth starts to feel as dry as a desert, my eyes begin to roll.

"Faebane." I utter before everything goes black.

But I'm still just about with it to feel cool iron manacles shackles to my wrists before everything fades to nightmares.

—___

Hey everyone!
Shit's gonna happen, and a lot is going to be revealed!! Is Meira just a healer? Or is she something else entirely...

I was thinking of making this a Cresent City crossover, excluding the 3 book coming out on Tuesday and writing my own version, but I'm not sure...I don't think I will, but if I do, it'll be like a bonus chapter or something.

Anyway, stay tuned! 😉🧐
Next update will be soon!

TheFantasyWriter09

P.S for updating stuff, follow my profile as I'm gonna start to announce when the next update will be for all my books on there! If u already done that, great! ;)