No love for Louisa

TWENTY THREE

Louisa had felt some sense of relief when she had first returned to the familiarity of Thorn view. The servants were pleased to have her back, but they knew better than to enquire why she returned earlier than expected. Louisa imagined there would be a lot of speculation in the servants quarters, as she didn't intend to disclose the reason, only informing them that her stay in London had come to an end and she would not be returning. 

But, after a week of catching up on the local goings on in her uncle's estate, and taking walks to her favourite places,  then for a little while, enjoying reading her books without having Rosemary interrupt her, she soon  found herself feeling strangely restless, and not as contented as she thought she would be to be.

 Her mind kept turning  to the incident that had forced her to return, the night of the ball, and the brief, but very personal exchange with Alexander Carstairs, had people really reacted in such a manner about it, that had upset Rosemary, because they had been talking about that, more than her cousin? 

 In retrospect, Louisa realised  if Rosemary had taken such a pet with just her aunt there, Hettie would have more than likely just dismissed the whole thing, and would made Rosemary see how silly she was being,  She would have gotten over it, and  probably would have been forgotten about, without even bringing it to  Louisa's attention. 

 But,  unfortunately with her father present, he instead had  decided to indulge Rosemary's slight  grievance,  because it had involved Louisa,  and he had more than likely encouraged his daughter  to make it seem worse than it really was. Anything to put Louisa in a bad light it seemed. 

 Perhaps it was dwelling on this, reminded her that her uncle would not be happy till she was gone from under his roof and the uncertainty of her future was making her feel a little melancholy .  Especially after she had been in London and just for a little while had experienced the kindness of Alexander Carstairs and his family, now finding herself wistfully wishing her own family could show some thought and consideration for her feelings.

Having practically spent most of her life at Thorn view ,  hidden away and made to feel she she was unworthy  of expecting anything good in life, she was realising her visit to London had changed all that. Yet, nothing had really changed in her circumstances, she was still in the same position she had been in before, so what was the use of expecting something better?

This was the mood she was still in, when a letter arrived for her from London. At first she thought it was from Hettie or Rosemary, but then  she realised she did not recognise the writing .  When she broke the seal and opened it, she realised it addressed her in a formal manner

Dear Miss O'Mara

I hope as I write this, it finds you well. It  has just recently been brought to my attention of your abrupt departure from London, and your return to your family home in Devon, which I feel somehow I might be responsible for, over your Uncle's concern of certain gossip running rife because the attention I have paid  you lately.  I am sorry it has caused your family to  come to believe that your actions have tainted your reputation in some way, and that they felt they must send you  packing. 

 But, let me assure you Miss O'Mara, that the fault never lay with you, but with how the Viscount and I dealt with you that night at the Ball,  We brought unwarranted attention on you, that  I know ,you preferred not to have experienced, so  please believe me, your respectable reputation is still very much intact. You absolutely did not do anything wrong that justified you being sent away,  On learning of it, I was incensed. Mostly, because making you  leave in such a manner, surely your uncle should have realised it would only cause further gossip and speculation that you had somehow behaved inappropriately, when that was not the case, and made the matter seem worse than what it was.