My Long Lost Princess

Chapter 9: What I Believe

It's been a few months since Jayden visited me and I have finally completed my princess training. It's finally November and it's Kate's eighth birthday today. As for me, I'm preparing the food for the party tonight. I had just finished preparing and went to my room to get ready for the party. I ran into Kate in the hallway. I crouched down to her level and gave her a hug. "Happy Birthday Kate! You're finally eight years old! As a birthday present, I made your favorite desserts." She smiled brightly and hugged me tightly. "Thank you Ayana! You're the best sister ever! I have to go get ready now. Bye!" Then she walked away. She's such an energetic child.

I started walking towards my room and when I entered, the maids were there ready and waiting. One of the maids said, "Are you ready princess?" "Yes I am." I took a quick shower and started getting ready. The maids blow dried my hair and I changed into my dress. I asked prior to this if they could bring me a pink dress because that was Kate's favorite color. The maids then fixed my hair into a bun. I put on my shoes and jewelry and then the maids left. I waited in my room until Luis came to get me. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. It was Luis. "Ayana it's time for the party."

I stood up and followed Luis to the ballroom. As soon as I entered, Jade walked up to me. "How are you Ayana? I apologize about the time I couldn't come here with Jayden when that article about you was published." I smiled, "It's alright. I'm fine. I knew you were busy at the time, but thank you for worrying about me." Then a voice rang out in the ballroom. "Presenting Princess Kimberly Kate, Second Princess of Clari!" Then the doors by the staircase opened and Kate walked down the steps. She looks so beautiful. As she reached the bottom of the steps. She was greeted by many people. I walked up to her and said, "Happy Birthday Kate!"

Then the music started. Brandon walked up to Kate. "Would you like to dance Kimberly?" He stretched his hand out to her. She smiled and blushed, "I would love to." She took his hand and followed him to the dance floor. They were the center of attention. They were dancing like they were in their own little world. For some odd reason they remind me of Prince James and I. Prince James is about three years older than me and well Prince James and Brandon are from Calena and Kate and I are from Clari. I guess that's the reason why I feel like they remind me of Prince James and me. Maybe there is somewhere inside of me that want to be like them. They really seem to have mutual understanding. I have this warm feeling in my chest, wishing to be like them. Wait. Do I love Prince James? That's impossible. Even if I did have 'feelings' for him, he could never return them considering what his parents told me. Honestly I just don't believe that he would ever love me or anyone in general.

"Ayana how are you?" To snap me out of my thought I heard a voice. It was Prince Andrew. The others were with him as well. The only one who wasn't there was Prince James. I replied, "I'm well. How are you?" Andrew said, "We're all well. What were you thinking earlier? It seems like you were in deep thought." They all looked at me with curiosity. "Well I was just thinking about how Kate and Brandon get along well. They know so much about each other and I just wish that Prince James and I were like that. How can I rule a country with him as his wife when I know nothing about him? I honestly believe if we knew more about each other, I could help him more and support him. I just believe if I knew him better and have mutual understanding, I think we can rule a country better. Is it strange to think that?"

They all started at me. I guess it is strange to think Prince James would open up to me. Then Vincent spoke up, "It's not strange to think like that. I think all of us think that to rule a country you need mutual understanding and trust. It might be hard to obtain that from James, but I know that you can do that Ayana." Everyone nodded. "Thank you everyone. You've given me so much support ever since I arrived." Then a new song started to play. Jayden outstretched his hand to me. "Would you like to dance with me Ayana?" I smiled and took his hand. "I would love to." He led me to the dance floor. In the middle of the dance her spoke up, "Ayana will you meet me at the courtyard in ten minutes?" I looked at him with curiosity. "What for?" "I have something important to tell you." "Why can't you tell me now?" He gave me a pleading look. "Please Ayana. It's very important we do this in private." He seems very serious and I nodded. He seemed satisfied and the song ended. Jayden slowly let me go. "Remember in ten minutes meet me at the courtyard." Then someone said behind me, "If you don't mind Jayden, I would like to dance with my fiancée." I turned around and saw Prince James there. Jayden smiled, "Of course James." Then Jayden looked at me. "Remember." I nodded and he left.

A new song started. Prince James stretched his hand out to me. "Would you like to dance Ayana?" "I would love to." We started to dance. He's acting differently? By any chance was he jealous? No. That's not possible. Prince James spoke up, "You've gotten better at dancing. You're no longer stiff." I smiled at that. I'm glad he complimented me on my dancing. "Thank you Prince James." He spoke up again, "What were you and Jayden talking about? Why does he want to meet you at the courtyard?" He said that in his usual tone, but for some reason it sounded a bit different. Maybe he is jealous. No. "I'm not sure why he wants to meet me. He just said to meet him at the courtyard. He was very persistent so I agreed." He didn't seem satisfied with my answer because he asks, "Do you have any idea what he would like to speak about?" "Well he said it was important and that we had to speak privately." It seems he still wasn't satisfied with my answer, but he didn't push it further. We ended the dance in silence.

I sneaked out of the ballroom and headed for the courtyard. Jayden was already there when I arrived. "Jayden?" He turned around and walked up to me. "Ayana." I asked him, "What is that was so important that we had to discuss this privately?" He looked at me intensely. Then he said the words I thought I'd never hear. "Ayana I love you." I was shocked from what I heard. "Ayana. Call off the engagement with James." I was too shocked to say anything. He continued. "He's not even setting the time to get to know you better. I know you most out of everyone. Ayana don't waste your time trying to get James to open up to you. I'll make you happy. You said it yourself, 'You need mutual understanding and trust to rule a country with someone.' James isn't opening up to you." He was right but... "Jayden, you're right but, I can't call off the engagement. It wouldn't be right. Plus I don't know why but, there is a small part inside of me that knows he will open up to me eventually." Because for the first time, he showed his true feelings earlier today. I think he was jealous, asking all those questions. Jayden sighed, "Ayana why can't you understand that he will never open up to you? Has he even mentioned the wedding since you've arrived? Do you know anything about your wedding? You say you're engaged but, has he even contacted you? I gave everyone your number." Now that I think about it the last time I thought about our wedding was a few months ago. All I know is that I will get married to Prince James at when I turn 21 because it's a tradition, but other than that I know nothing about it. Jayden spoke up, "If you could Ayana, would you call off the engagement?" I was surprised he said that but... Would I call off the engagement if I could? It's true that James hasn't taken the time to get to know me and that he's blunt, but he's like that with the others. That's who he is and I can't force him to spend time with me. I sighed and looked at Jayden earnestly. "Jayden, I..." He looked at me pleadingly. "If I had the decision to call off the engagement... Maybe, but I don't have that decision and neither does Prince James. I mean sure he hasn't taken the time to get to know me better but, neither have I so it's not his fault entirely. It's mine as well." He sighed once more. "I honestly thought you fell in love with me. Even when we were little you would choose James. I've loved you for that long. I thought maybe this time, you would choose me." I felt a warm feeling in my chest. "Jayden, I'm not choosing James, but I'm not choosing you either. I'm sorry Jayden, but I can't. I can't choose." Jayden looked at me disappointed. "Alright Ayana. I understand. I'll respect your decision now, but call me when you've decided." Then he left. I went back into the ballroom and concealed my emotions with a smile on my face. I danced and greeted a few more people until the party was over. When the party was over I went back to my room and laid down on my bed. I really didn't expect that to happen today. First, Kate and Brandon somehow reminded me of Prince James and me. Second, Prince James got jealous. Third, Jayden told me he loved me and to call off the engagement with Prince James. Today was a very confusing day. I've felt things that I've never felt before. Experienced something I've never experienced before. No man has ever told me that they loved me before. Plus what was that warm feeling in my chest when Kate and Brandon reminded me of myself and Prince James, and when Jayden told me he loved me. I have never felt that way before. Is it possible that-. No. But is it possible that I'm in love with one of them? Me? In love? But now the question is, who am I in love with?