Friday, October 25th

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Omani,

Marie told me today that her father decided to spend the holidays with us, and now I find myself daydreaming of a universe where you can do the same.

But Instead of you cooking for me, I'm going to let you sit back and relax while I prepare a bountiful feast. I'd ask Marie to take you to her favorite spa so the two of you can enjoy relaxing massages, manicures, or even a nice new haircut. At night, we could go on a picnic by the beach, feeling the warm sand around our toes and the cool breeze on our faces. We'd exchange stories—you and me, and Marie and her father—and share drinks under the moonlight. There'll be laughter for sure. Maybe even some music.

I feel an ache in my heart as I write this, and I'm not quite sure if it's because of longing or guilt. 

Maybe it's both.

It's been almost four years, omani...and even now, as I live an unimaginably charmed life, I sometimes wonder if I deserve it more than you. 

I hope you know that I try my best every day to live to the fullest. To love to the fullest. 

Missing you a little more today.

--Kiwan

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