The Truth

Part seven

I always had a passion for English, but one day I knew why It had gone, it was because of my primary teacher. He was a boring old man who never liked my work no matter what I did, I tried and tried.
There is going to be a time when everyone dies, some people's stories will become famous and that the other generations will learn about. What I was scared of was that my story would be forgotten. Was it cruel for me to have thought that way?
At first, this book was about a girl named Jude. This book was fictional, it was all about her finding love with a boy named Harrison. I got fed up with that story and ditched it, but I didn't ditch the title because I knew it was going to be something one day. First, it was about Jude and then it was an autobiography and now it's the only thing I feel motivated to do.
There was a time back in November when I was seriously ill, I never told you the actual reason, all I told you was I had a very very sore throat ane that I had lost my voice, which was true but I left out the part where my airways were closing. I knew you would worry if I told you about that, so I didn't. I didn't tell anyone except my dad. I only told him because I knew he didn't care. My mum knew because the doctors told her, she told my step dad and grandparents so there was no point in me telling them. I could've died from that. luckily I didn't and went back to school after a few days.

I feel like I'm balancing on a very thin wooden beam, if I look down then I will lose my balance, and then I would fall into this deep darkness and would never be able to get out of it. I would be stuck in a deep depressing hole for the rest of my life.
"Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it" - Nicholas Sparks
That is one of my all-time favourite quotes, I don't know why I just seem to love it.
There were times that I would worry. I would worry about the time that I gave you this. I had planned for months and months to give you this, in my head, your reaction would be full of love and you'd tear up at how romantic you thought it was. But there was that little bit of my head saying you wouldn't like it and that you would hate me for writing everything down.
Even if you do hate this, I'm glad I wrote it, because it's the only thing I could write and I loved it and I got into it. I want you to know that this book means a lot to me, l've been writing it for a long time. If you don't like it though this will never be published and will never go out into the world, just to let you know, you are the only person who has ever read this. I wanted to get Evie to read it but then I never showed her, because I wanted to make it special for you.
I was sitting on the sofa one night staring at the Christmas tree thinking about how much you loved Christmas. I always needed to understand why. What was there to like about Christmas? But the only important thing was that you loved it. I only liked the thought of you in Christmas PJs. That was as festive as I got.

"Cause it always one step forward and three steps back" - Olivia Rodrigo

That was exactly how I felt most of the time, it felt like I had no success in life.