After Hours

Overdue

"So what was Brian like as a kid?" Denise asked, looking at her friend intently.

Jane smiled slightly as she reminisced, "He was the straight edged kid, he kept his hair short and trimmed, not a single strand out of place. He was awkward, in a cute way. He would always do nice things for me, if we were walking home together after school he insisted on carrying my books."

"And you gave up on that?" Denise gently swatted at Jane's arm.

"I know, you don't have to lecture me about it." Jane wouldn't admit it to herself, let alone anyone else but she missed him a lot, every time she recognized a constellation in the night sky she thought of him and of the close encounter they had one night.

"I never thought he'd grow up to do something like this, I knew he played guitar but to see him playing in bars is so surreal." She was completely captivated by seeing Brian up on stage, there were so many emotions going through her head that it was hard to focus on anything else except for him.

As Freddie started the band introductions, Brian could barely make her out in the crowd. He knew it was petty because so much time had passed but it had opened an old wound he thought had already scared over by now. His heart was doing some funny things to him that he didn't expect after all this time.

The first song kicked off, rattling the cheap amplifiers along the stage. The audience erupted in applause, it seemed they had gotten a local following around the area so they always had good crowds.

Both Denise and Jane couldn't believe just how good they were, especially Brian. Jane knew she looked like a fool as her mouth had been hanging open from the time he started strumming. He looked so ethereal, the way the lights shined around and through his hair gave him a sort of angelic silhouette, detailing every individual curl as they moved with him. His "costume" looked like a black poncho with white embroidery around the collar. She followed the outline of his arms until she focused on his fingers, he had such amazing control over where to place them. Her eyes followed the fingers of his left hand closely as they moved up and down the fretboard. She thought he was cute when they were younger but she couldn't believe how grown up and.. masculine he looked. It wasn't the conventional form of masculinity that you would expect, Jane had somehow been entranced by him. It was definitely a contrast from the pretty boys she'd been sleeping with recently.

Her friend leaned over, "If you don't want him, I'll take him." which resulted in Jane playfully hitting Denise on the arm.

The show was an obvious success, it was the tightest the group had played and the other three noticed how well Brian had played. He always hit the mark every gig but this one was different and they knew it.

By the end of the show, Jane and Denise had been cheering and yelling with the rest of the crowd. The band made their way off of the stage to greet their friends in the crowd that usually attended, Jane realized she hadn't even for a moment glanced away from Brian during their entire set which embarrassed her, she hoped the bright stage lighting impaired his vision enough to not make note of that. Denise wanted to go up and officially meet the rest of the band, even though they both knew she meant Roger. Jane was reluctant to go with her. As Denise and Roger begun a back and forth of not so discreet innuendos and shameless flirting, she stood behind her, facing the opposite direction. She figured the rest of the band hated her now that they were aware of her and Brian's history.

Jane felt a hand on her shoulder which startled her, she didn't even want to turn around. She didn't want it to be Brian. As she turned around to see Freddie standing there, she found herself disappointed.

"Let's talk over here, dear." There didn't seem to be anger in his voice which was a good sign for her. They walked slowly over to a quiet corner of the club, next to the side of the bar where no prying ears would hear their conversation.

"Freddie, I know that I don't look like the greatest person-" she began her speech before Freddie interrupted her.

"Just apologize to him dear, none of us are innocent. You were young, we don't think of those things. I know he'd appreciate it if you told him you're sorry." He rubbed her arm to give her a sense of comfort, but unintentionally it made her anxious. The thought of facing Brian and apologizing for how shitty sixteen year old her was made her feel lightheaded.

"I really don't think he wants to talk to me." Jane couldn't help but turn around to see Brian packing his guitar equipment, his back was to them.

"He's over there by himself, it's the perfect opportunity."

She nodded and took a deep breath, "You're right, it's time.. I need to do it."
Freddie smiled at her softly before she walked over to Brian, dragging her feet. Her heart rate quickened as the distance between them grew shorter. His back was still turned to her so it gave her a few extra seconds to sort out her words.

"Brian?" She quietly said to him, her voice failing at first. If he was still the same person she thought she knew, she didn't think he would fly off the handle but people change. Especially those who were hurt.
When she said his name, he stopped what he was doing abruptly. He found it odd hearing that voice call his name again, his gut reaction is to smile when he heard that voice but lingering resentment pulled the corners of his lips downwards. Jane wasn't the only one who had mixed emotions tonight. Brian turned to face her, he didn't say anything but his expression acknowledged her presence.

"I know it's a bit overdue.. but I wanted to apologize for what happened.. to us. It was wrong of me to say that."

He looked down and shook his head, "Don't say things you don't mean, Jane." He coldly emphasized her name before turning back around to pack his things.

"I'm serious, I wish there was a way I could prove to you."

He turned to face her again quite quickly, "I thought age would mature you but it seems it hasn't. You haven't changed, if anything, you've gotten worse. You're so wrapped up in what other people think of you that you've lost yourself. Everything about you is a sham, I don't understand what was so bad about your interests that you had to creat this ridiculous facade to get people to like you."

She certainly wasn't expecting him to say that, she underestimated how much she had hurt him. Brian even surprised himself, he didn't mean to be as rude but seeing her reopened the wound. He was finally able to get his frustration and resentment out towards her, he later admitted to himself that he felt a lot better after lashing out in his own way.

Jane was speechless, not knowing what to say. Brian was right, it was ridiculous and it was a facade. She had been having second doubts about her lifestyle recently, but she didn't know how she would leave it. It was exhausting pretending to be something you know you're not deep down for so long. She was too far wrapped up in her own selfishness that she didn't know if she could escape it.

*****

It seems Jane has a lot to think about and consider, what do you think she'll do?

Feedback is encouraged and welcome!

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