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five.

I've been sitting on the floor of my apartment for nearly an hour now, my tears dried up and staining my cheeks. I should've been partially packed right now, but my heart ached so much that I couldn't will myself to get up.

I knew breakups hurt because of ending things with Matteo... but why did this one with Lando hurt more? I wasn't with him for nearly as long, wasn't engaged to him either, only dating. But my heart hurt so much right now it felt as though it would never heal.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks the moment I said goodbye to Lando at the funeral, sharing one last kiss as we parted. The tears didn't stop until about 20 minutes ago. I'd cried so much that my head pounded with pain. None of this made sense, but my heart hurt so much that I knew I needed to go. No matter how sad his green-blue eyes looked, I couldn't go back, I couldn't stay.

Feeling this way sucked.

I hadn't told any of the other drivers that I was coming back today, hadn't told them any of what had happened. So, no one knew I was here, relishing in the pain of a breakup, sitting in the middle of the floor of the apartment I shared with the person I'd just broken up with.

I huffed, hating that I felt this way but knowing that I needed to do something about packing. Lando was supposed to return tomorrow or the next day and I couldn't just stall and delay his return to the place he also called home.

So, I did the only thing I knew to do, call Charles.

"Bonjour!" (Hello!) I winced at how happy he sounded.

I tried to not let my uneven breath be noticeable, but I think I might've failed. "J'ai besoin de ton aide, es-tu occupé?" (I need your help, are you busy?)

"Della, que s'est-il passé?" (Della, what happened?)

He definitely could tell I had been crying, no doubt. Unfortunately, Charles knew me too well at times.

"Il pensait que je le trompais avec toi. Je déménage donc et j'ai besoin d'aide." (He thought I was cheating on him with you. So, I'm moving and need help.)

I didn't have to say who he was, Charles knew. I only ever talked about one other male with him.

"Je vais le tuer." (I'm going to kill him.)

"Charles." I warned. He knew that, regardless of what Lando did, I wouldn't wish anything bad on him. I couldn't, I wasn't that kind of person.

You could do the most horrid thing to me and I would still wish you the best.

He sighed on the other end of the phone. "Je sais, je suis désolé. Voudrais-tu que j'amène Max et Danny?" (I know, I'm sorry. Would you like me to bring Max and Danny?)

"S'il te plaît." (Please.)

Thankfully, Charles knew who and what I needed.

So, I sat and waited for them to arrive. My head in between my knees as I attempted to regulate my breathing. I had an unfortunate habit of hyperventilating if I got too upset about something. Thankfully, it didn't happen often, but when it did, it sucked.

Eventually, the front door of the apartment opened and in walked the small group I had been waiting on, moving boxes in hand. I winced at the sight of the boxes, it made it actually seem real that I was moving out.

I've never been more thankful that Charles had a key, seeing as I didn't have the strength to pull myself to my feet.

My eyes flickered up to them, noticing an additional person than who Charles had promised. Danny's girlfriend Grace had tagged along. She was amazing, the two of them were already dating when I joined the F1 world. Grace was one of the most welcoming and loving people ever, so the sight of her in the apartment made things suck slightly less.

The four of them made their way into the apartment rather solemnly. It was clear that Charles had filled them in on why they were joining him today. My heart ached again, remembering how much that not only did the drivers, but also everyone in F1 and the fans loved mine and Lando's relationship. There were constant posts about us, questions in interviews, pictures taken.

So, whenever the news broke of our separation, I knew it would come as a shock to everyone.

Charles was the first to me, his arms hooking under my armpits to pull me to my feet. He pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, one meant to stick me back together. The previously dried up tears returned as I let myself fall apart in the arms of my best friend.

We stayed connected for a moment or two before separating, Charles guiding me into Max's arms next. He hugged me tight as well, knowing what I needed from him. Then I was passed to Danny.

"I know we don't get to see each other as much as I had hoped," Grace started as Danny and I separated. "But, I think I remember this being your favorite coffee. Fun drinks help me when I'm sad, so I made them stop on our way so it could hopefully help a little."

She had the sweetest smile on her face and I hadn't even realized that she was holding a cup when she entered. I let out a sad laugh, hugging her for the kind gesture. "I think it might."

Grace joined me in my laughter and from the looks I saw the boys giving, I'm sure they were confused. Laughter typically meant happiness, but I was far from that. In this case, I was laughing because of how sad I was.

"So!" Grace announced after handing me the coffee, "Where do we start?"

I sighed, feeling weird as I held up a sheet of notebook paper I'd written on in the plane. "I made a list of what needs to be packed so I didn't forget anything."

The brunette nodded, carefully taking the paper from me. She took a moment to read over its contents. "Ok, so, Adelaide and I will do the bedroom. Charlie, you take the bathroom. Max and Danny, you take the miscellaneous stuff. Whoever finishes first, go help the others. Got it?"

We all nodded at her instructions. The boys took pictures of the list and grabbed some boxes before dispersing. Grace, however, took my hand in hers and lead me down the hallway - to the one place I hadn't been since I got back to Monaco.

I winced as we crossed the threshold into our bedroom. A part of me hurt as I entered the space I once shared with Lando. We'd shared so many special moments here and now they all meant nothing.

"Now, you. Just sit on the bed while I pack for you, got it? I don't want you doing anything other than telling me which part of the closet and what drawers to check."

My heart squeezed at how thankful I was for Grace in the moment. I truly don't think I have the energy to do any packing at the moment. So, I crawled onto the bed, ignoring the feeling that swarmed while I felt the comfort of the material on my skin.

"Thank you."