It was Tuesday. I spent the rest of yesterday thinking long and hard about what Grace told me. Would having a family of my own fill that hole inside of me? It makes me wonder. Even more so, why would Grace suggest that idea since she had no kids of her own?
Grace... I still love her. And she still loves me, or at least still cares about me enough to want to help me with my problems. Especially since she hasn't asked for anything from me. At least not yet, she hasn't. She wants me to break off the harem. I won't lie, I have thought about it a few times in the past. A few times when I tried to gain a conscious and find faith in the Lord and questioned the morality of it all. But like I told Grace, all this sleeping around helps me cope. I'm not ready to try to be a one girl guy again. Maybe some counseling. Maybe not with Grace all the time despite her interest in wanting to help me. I don't want her to get the idea to start charging me now.
I don't hold it against Grace for leaving the harem. She has her own goals herself. Plus, there's all the extra baggage with this kind of lifestyle compared to a traditional relationship. For the girls, you're basically in a competition for attention with the other girls. Some can handle it, and some can't. And I don't blame the ones who can't. Grace is one of the ones who can't. And again, I don't blame her. And that's not even considering the possibility of catching a STD.
She said that she likes to think that there's another universe where we are married with kids. And that she would like to live in that world. I won't lie, I'd love to have been in a long-term relationship with Grace. She's beautiful, kind, caring, and sweet. When it comes to girls, I have two different mindsets. When they're complete babes, and 10/10s, but their personality is as dull as rocks and have average intelligence, I only want to fuck them. Just turn them into a fuckdoll and never speak to them again. But when you get girls like Grace or Sydney, who are beautiful most definitely, but also full of personality, have all of the traits I previously mentioned, and dont insult my intelligence and aren't afraid to challenge me, I fall in love with them to the point where I think about them for days, maybe weeks. And how I can spend the rest of my life with them. And I do everything I can to convince them that I'm worth their time. What I'm saying about Grace is that she's perfect for me.
But I think Grace is giving dating girls a try now since she is bisexual. I wouldn't want to date guys either
And yes, I did have an issue with FaZe Rain when he and her were beefing. Personally, I really don't give a shit about the Faze clan, and I kind of didn't care when Grace joined. Her life, her choice. But I can't stand when I see someone who I respect and still care about, despite the breakup, being slandered like that. It took everything I had to not go at it with Rain. But I was able to keep my composure and stayed out of it. It would have been selfish of me to get involved. All it would have done is ruin Grace's credibility. So, for her sake, I stayed my ground
But I could have been super disrespectful and said to Rain, "She might be a woman, but she still has bigger balls than you."
I can be toxic, I can be a troll, I can get grown men to hate me. Alot of qualities I kept with me from my childhood. We have a saying,'You can take the man out of Stockton, but you can't take Stockton out of the man'
But back to Grace, some might call me wanting to defend her 'simping'. But people who say that clearly suffer from brain rot from being on the internet too much and not being with a real woman. I never understood why grown adults act like children when they break up. That behavior is acceptable from teenagers. Not people in their late 30s. My breakup with Grace was professional, and we understood why we had to split. Cleary, she still cares about me, even if it's just as a friend, if she is willing to help me deal with my problems, and I still care about her. And I respect her more after she stood up to me yesterday.
