Exit Wounds | Noah Sebastian

T H I R T Y O N E

"Delaney, what happened? Please call me back."

"Delaney, I'm so worried about you, please let me know you are safe."

"Baby, please don't leave me."

"I just heard the news, I'm on my way."

I play all of Noah's voicemails, while I wait on my mom to pick me up at the airport.

I see my parent's car pull up to the curb, the car doesn't come to a full stop before my mom throws open the door, pulling me into her.  I bury my head in her neck as a fresh wave of tears barrel out of me.  I had cried so much on the flight I didn't think I had any tears left.

My dad comes to hug me, but gently shuffles us to the car.  People were starting to stare at the exchange.  My mom sat in the backseat with me, my head on her shoulder while she stroked my hair. It's the middle of the night, so I don't protest when they take me back to their house.

"Delaney, where's Noah?"

My heart pinches painfully in my chest, I just left him without any explanation.  Finn dying had put me in fight or flight, and I flew away from him as fast as I could.  All of my worries come back tenfold, why wasn't my first thought to seek comfort in him?  What did that say about our relationship?  I want to believe that I knew I couldn't take him away from tour, but that wasn't it. I got scared and I ran.

"I think I messed up," I confess.

"We mere humans do that from time to time," she says, patting my thigh.

"I just hopped on a plane, disregarding that Noah was close with Finn too.  He's already heard the news, and I was only thinking of myself and I fucking left."

"Well, fix it," she replies, as if it's that simple.

"He did say he was getting on a plane, maybe I should get him from the airport," I chew on my lips and run my hands through my hair.

"How about you let daddy drive you?" She says gently. I nod at her. "He won't be in for a few more hours, why don't you try to get some sleep?" I nod again and curl up on the couch while my mom covers me with a soft blanket.

Sleep would not come for me though, I was in so much pain it physically hurt. My best friend was gone, forever. And Noah, I had just walked out on him.  I had made a lot of bad decisions in my life, this one I fear was the worst.

"Ready to go pumpkin?"

I smile weakly at my dad as we walk back out to the car.  I press my face against the cold glass of the window, I was sure all the tears had dried up by now.  My dad reaches across the console and grasps my hand loosely while we drive.  

My chest aches as I pull myself out of the car to step inside the pickup doors, I don't want to miss Noah.  It would already be a miracle if I had caught him in the crowd.  I finally spot him and watch a series of emotions play across his face.

Shock, at seeing me. Pity, as he saw my face. Relief, that I was okay and I was here. Grief, as he realized the news was real.

Noah's long legs reach me in four strides, standing before me tentatively.  It broke my heart to see him struggle with whether he should comfort me or give me space.  My eyes water again before I step into him, hugging him tightly around his torso.  His strong arms blanket me and I feel the pressure of his lips on the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry," I tell him as fresh tears spring to my face, crying in earnest now.

"I know I said you could leave whenever you want, but for the love of god, Delaney, please at least say goodbye." I want to chuckle, but guilt and grief waged a war inside of me. I nod at him instead.