Red White and Black

Chapter Twelve - Part B

Markus

There was a soft knock on his door.

"Markus? You ready for some of this cake?"

He didn't answer.

"Markus? Lil'M" A lengthy pause. "You okay in there?"

He slid the pills and the bottle under his pillow just as Aunt Sadie eased open the door while balancing the cake on her arm and holding a glass of milk at the same time. Dust from the tablets stood out in stark contrast against his skin but he was unable to wipe it off without her noticing.

"What you doin' sittin' so quiet in here?" she asked, placing the cake and milk next to him on the table.

"I'm just thinkin', Aunt Sadie."

"Hmm. Oh yeah? Well ain't that a coincidence. I been thinkin' too."

He said nothing in response, just staring at nothing, so she continued. Pulling up his desk chair, she sat down and sighed. "Whew! Feels good to get off my feet. I tell you, I think I been runnin' non-stop today and then before you know it, it done got dark and almost time for bed. I been in that kitchen and realized that I been so busy livin' my life and goin' to church and helpin' Brother Gibbs and so forth, that I ain't been takin' care of the most important thing. You know what I'm sayin'?"

Thinking the question was rhetorical, Markus again sat silent while she continued. "Sometimes you get so wrapped up in what you are doin' you end up forgettin' about the stuff that's most important and that be what's happened to me. I done forgot how you been hurtin' and how you been needin' some help, but I ain't been there for you. I been selfish, just thinkin' about what's important to me and ignorin' you, and that ain't right. I need you to know that you are the most important thing in this world to me; I need you to know that."

She spoke with such urgency he couldn't help but look into her eyes.

Reaching over and patting him on the leg, she said with a short little laugh, "I tell you Lil'M, you do take after your Daddy. There are times I sit back amazed at how much you look just like him. And oh my, he was a fine man." She paused a moment, lost in memories while a faint smile played across her face. "I never did tell your Momma, but they was a time I was jealous a her 'cause a him. My, he could make the heads of the women turn, just like you do if you'd ever pay any attention. The day she come to me and said they's gonna marry just about broke my heart. I had to decide right then and there, was I gonna let a man come between me and my sister."

She sat in the chair, her arms folded around herself as if trying to keep warm. "It was then I realized that sometimes life hands you a choice that you just don't wanna face. I thought for awhile it was just me that got stuck with these kinda things, but I began to realize everybody's got a tough road to hoe now and then. We all got tough decisions to make and what kinda choice you make says a lot about what kinda person you are."

In spite of himself, Markus found himself listening. He had never heard this story before. "So Momma never knew?"

"Lord, I hope not! She'd a clawed my eyes out. But I must'a been a pretty good actor I guess. Later, when you was born I swear I never saw a more perfect little baby. Every nurse in the hospital said you was the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen, and your Momma and Daddy, they was so proud."

Together they sat by the light of the lamp with Sadie talking about the beginning of his life and Markus just wanting it to end.

"So why didn't you get married Aunt Sadie?"